Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long
Island in Suffolk County.
After
a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus
to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some
of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you
today.
Here's
the setup: A Martian is having trouble with his spacecraft and he's forced to land on Earth. So he lands in this vacant parking lot and he's looking around for parts when he spots a deli across the street. And then...
We never stop being amazed at the popularity and resiliency of Hava Nagila, probably the most played Hebrew song of all time, and how often it appears in non-Jewish venues around the world.
Since we started posting on Jewish Humor Central in 2009, we have shared 126 renditions of this song with you. So here comes number 127.
Just yesterday, the 9th Grade Chorus of the Pennfield Middle School in a Pennsylvania suburb started off its winter concert with a performance of Hava Nagila.
Oxana Bar and Gaston Kirsman, a Jewish-Israeli couple living in Israel, offer
Spanish speakers everywhere a unique and unfiltered glimpse into life in
Israel, sharing people’s stories and experiences with the aim of
fighting fake news and hatred against Israel and Jews.
Their goal is to help Spanish speakers discover Israel in an authentic and
unique way, countering fake news and social media that often portray a
negative image of Israel.
In this video they sing Shalom Aleichem, a key part of the Kabbalat Shabbat service.
Today is the 8th and last day of Hanukkah. After posting Broadway, Hollywood, and pop versions of familiar Chanukah songs, we think it's only fair to present a medley of traditional songs in a classical style.
Thanks to a symphonic mashup of five festive Hanukkah songs arranged by Bill Holcombe, the Beaufort Symphony Orchestra of Beaufort, South Carolina under the direction of Fred Devyatkin, recently performed this work for our enjoyment.
There are comedians who happen to be Jewish, and then there are Jewish comedians. In his YouTube special, Know Your Audience, Modi
solidifies himself as the former; wielding his unique blend of
observational comedy and hilarious insights to shine a light on an
often-insular community.
Having
performed for Jewish organizations and causes all over the globe,
Modi’s unique vantage point lends a birds-eye view of what it means to
be Jewish in today’s day and age.
Modi’s
performance represents a modern interpretation of the Borscht-belt
comedians who came before him. Drawing inspiration from Jackie Mason and
Alan King, Modi’s larger-than-life stage presence sends a clear
message: be true to your audience and the rest will follow.
In this hilarious video clip from Know Your Audience,
Modi skewers anti-semitism and gives advice to Gentiles who want to become Jewish. Along the way he gives his own funny spin on some Jewish and Christian religious practices.
Noa Tishby is an Israeli activist, actress, model,
producer, and writer. As an actress, she appeared in a variety of
American television shows and movies, including The Affair, The Island,
Nip/Tuck, Big Love, NCIS, and others.
Tishby was born in Tel Aviv, Israel in May 1975 into a Jewish family involved in the establishment of Israel. The kibbutz
her grandfather co-founded was among the first in Israel's history.
Tishby began acting at an early age, appearing in commercials by age 8.
As a teenager, she earned a drama scholarship from the Tel Aviv Museum
of Art and acted in several stage productions and television shows. She
also served two and a half years in the Israel Defense Forces.
Tishby also focuses on Zionist activism, founding the advocacy
organization Act for Israel in 2011. In 2021, she published her first
book, Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth.
She served as the Special Envoy for Combating Antisemitism and the
Delegitimization of Israel for one year, from 2022 to 2023.
This
year Tishby has been posting a video each night of Chanukah in which
she lights the menorah with another celebrity while discussing elements
of their Jewish background.
On the second night of Hanukkah Noa Tishby was joined by actress Mila Kunis, who was born in Ukraine, where she and her family had to hide most of their Jewish identity.
It wasn’t until she moved to the U.S. and started a family that she began to reconnect with Judaism. Join them as we watch them light the candles together—and even get a little help from Ashton Kutcher over the phone!
On the first night of Chanukah this year on the Ellipse across from the White House, the National Menorah Orchestra and the “8th Day Band” performed a medley of popular Chanukah songs at the National Menorah Lighting in Washington D.C.
The event was hosted by American Friends of Lubavitch.
Noa Tishby is an Israeli activist, actress, model,
producer, and writer. As an actress, she appeared in a variety of
American television shows and movies, including The Affair, The Island,
Nip/Tuck, Big Love, NCIS, and others.
Tishby was born in Tel Aviv, Israel in May 1975 into a Jewish family involved in the establishment of Israel. The kibbutz her grandfather co-founded was among the first in Israel's history. Tishby began acting at an early age, appearing in commercials by age 8. As a teenager, she earned a drama scholarship from the Tel Aviv Museum of Art and acted in several stage productions and television shows. She also served two and a half years in the Israel Defense Forces.
Tishby also focuses on Zionist activism, founding the advocacy
organization Act for Israel in 2011. In 2021, she published her first
book, Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth. She served as the Special Envoy for Combating Antisemitism and the Delegitimization of Israel for one year, from 2022 to 2023.
This year Tishby has been posting a video each night of Chanukah in which she lights the menorah with another celebrity while discussing elements of their Jewish background. We'll backtrack to the first night of Chanukah when she appeared together with actress Gwyneth Paltrow and then to the next few nights with different guests.
Today is the first day of Chanukah, and if you are lucky to be basking in Florida's warmth at Walt Disney World's Epcot Center, you can see a live performance of Peter Yarrow's Light One Candle by the Voices of Liberty in the rotunda of the American Adventure Pavilion.
The Voices of Liberty have been performing this song as part of their celebration of December holidays. Dates and times of performance vary, so check the Disney schedule to be sure they're singing when you're there.
Here's a performance that was recorded earlier this month at Epcot.
Tonight we light the first Chanukah candle as we welcome the annual Festival of Lights into our homes.
On February 13, stars of Broadway and the Jewish world gave us a preview of this hopeful season by combining the candle lighting with the song Tomorrow from the musical Annie.
The songs were performed in the New York theater district while walking on Broadway and in Times Square by Julie Benko (Broadway’s “Funny Girl” and
“Harmony”) and Cantor Azi Schwartz of Park Avenue Synagogue with a
chorus of Broadway talent.
It's a timely juxtaposition of two themes that combine to give us hope as we enter a new era of American optimism.
The Y-Studs are an all-male Jewish a cappella group, originally from Yeshiva University. They started as a club in 2010, and have since grown beyond the collegiate level to the professional stage.
Before anything else, they're a group of college students and young professionals who love making music together.
They pride themselves on both their energy and their depth, and are extremely deliberate about the music they choose, ensuring every song has both uniquely Jewish undertones and a universally resonant message.
In this new video, the Y-Studs perform a medley of songs with the Motown sound made popular by the Jackson 5 with a unique Chanukah twist.
Meir
Kalmanson has been posting funny Jewish videos on YouTube under the
name Meir Kay. An Orthodox Jewish filmmaker from Brooklyn, his aim is to
spread "happiness and positivity."
In
this video Meir, inspired by Billy Eichner's Billy in the Street For a Dollar street interviews, approaches random strangers walking the streets of New York City in December 2022, and offers them a free donut if they can answer his trivia questions about Chanukah.
We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana, Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to Facebook and YouTube and reaching millions.
Just in time for Chanukah, Yoni and Nina posted a Hebrew translation of the song Be a Light, written in English by Rabbi Neal Katz, rabbi of Congregation Beth El in Tyler, Texas.
Rabbi Katz has released three CDs of his original Jewish music. His
songs have become popular in congregations, camps, and Religious Schools
around the country. In 2009, Neal also released a folk-music CD, and in
2010, he was a finalist in the Kerrville Musical Festival's New Folk
Contest. The website for his music can be found at KatzMusic.com.
In
addition to his musical travels in the States, when Neal travels
abroad, he likes to share his music with member congregations in the
World Union for Progressive Judaism. Neal has been honored to share his
music and help lead Shabbat worship services at Progressive Jewish
congregations in Warsaw, Paris, Prague, Budapest, London, St.
Petersburg, and Copenhagen.
With so many Jewish singing groups coming up with Chanukah parodies and new lyrics for songs from the hit movie Wicked, we expected one from the Maccabeats and here it is.
In 2010 The Maccabeats, an a cappella group from Yeshiva University, released their first Hanukkah music video, Candlelight, and every Hanukkah (and other holidays) since then we've seen many more videos by them and lots of other groups.
Originally
formed in 2007 as Yeshiva University’s student vocal group,
the Maccabeats have recently emerged as both Jewish music and a cappella
phenomena, with a large fan base, more than 20 million views on
YouTube, numerous TV appearances, and proven success with three albums,
2010′s Voices From The Heights, 2012′s Out Of The Box and 2014′s One Day More. Many of their songs are parodies of pop hits, and this Chanukah they're continuing the tradition withnew lyrics for the movie's signature song Defying Gravity that celebrates the spirit of the Jewish people. The lyrics appear below. Enjoy!
Lyrics
Some things have changed around us
Some things have stayed the same
Through every change we’ve weathered
Our spirit always burns the same.
When shadows rise to meet us
Our flame will burn through the night
An ancient spark ignites
And fills the void with light.
We’ll rise above, defying gravity
Through every trial defying gravity
And they won’t bring us down.
Our light will continue to shine
this flame is no trick or delusion
Never accepted limits,
Cause someone says they're so
Thousands of years so far
But we’ve still got a ways to go.
No time to be afraid of
Those who’d try to see us gone
They didn’t know the strength that we’ve had all along.
The
a Cappella group Six13 is bringing some much-needed light into the
world with a fun medley of songs from the hit movie Wicked, with Chanukah lyrics replacing the Wicked originals.
Six13 is a six-man vocal band that brings an unprecedented style of
Jewish music to the stage, with songs ranging from hip-hop dance tracks
to rock anthems. The members of the New York City-based group sound like
a full band – while using nothing but their voices.
The Hallmark Channel is well known for its extensive collection of Christmas movies, which grows bigger every year. Their predictable romantic comedies always feature a couple falling in love amid lots of Christmas decorations and red and green sets. The themes are not complicated but usually have a minor conflict which is resolved with a kiss at the end.
Hanukkah has been glaringly missing from these movies, except for the last few years where its blue and white decorations have made minor appearances. Usually the theme for the annual Hanukkah movie is a chance encounter between a Jew and a Gentile that leads to a joint celebration of the two holidays. In the last two films, the revelation that either the boy or the girl is Jewish gets us to a scene where both families play Dreidel (although one confuses the Nun and Gimmel as the signal to win all of the coins.)
But last week the Hallmark Channel redeemed itself by posting a new movie called Hanukkah on the Rocks, where Christmas is hardly mentioned and the entire focus is on the celebration of the Jewish holiday.
We watched the two-hour long movie and recommend it for Hanukkah viewing. The plot is a bit weak as it centers on a search for a special box of "Cohen Candles" that all the stores in Chicago seem to have run out of. Also we found it odd that while the blessings in Hebrew were pronounced correctly, none of the men saying them wore a kippah.
But both of the lead actors are Jewish, which is a plus for Jewish representation in today's world of film and TV.
Here's a video preview of the movie, which is streaming now on The Hallmark Channel and on YouTube.
It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today's joke is told by Bob Alper, an ordained 78-year-old Reform rabbi from Vermont who served congregations
for fourteen years and holds a doctorate from Princeton
Theological Seminary. Bob is also a stand-up comedian with a thirty year comedy
career. He presents wonderfully unique material in a way that's
intelligent, sophisticated, and 100% clean. Since
2010 we have posted more than two dozen video clips of his stand-up
routines. Here's the setup: A couple were celebrating their 65th birthdays when a genie appeared. And then...
With the first night of Hanukkah only 10 days away, it's time for us to start sharing some new videos that are being posted for the holiday.
Walt Disney World's Epcot Center is usually one of the first venues to get into the holiday spirit. As part of their International Festival of the Holidays, Zachary the storyteller sings and relates the story of Hanukkah.
He tells about the origin of the holiday, including observations in his travels of how Hanukkah is celebrated around the world, and sings some popular songs in Hebrew, English, and Ladino.
The performance is repeated daily through December 30.
Ethan Franzel is a rabbi with Reform ordination from the Hebrew Union College - Jewish Institute of Religion. He is also a spiritual teacher, meditation leader, writer, musician and composer, and an avid guide for all things spiritual.
He has led numerous spirituality and meditation retreats, and has been a scholar-in-residence at a variety of different houses of worship.
He is located in the Greater Philadelphia area, serving Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, and Delaware.
In today's video, he leads us in singing a new version of Lecha Dodi to welcome Shabbat.
Raanan Hershberg is a loud, neurotic Jew from Louisville, KY. He has
performed his high-energy, joke-packed comedy on The Tonight Show with
Jimmy Fallon, The Late, Late Show with James Corden, and Comedy Central.
His latest special ‘Jokes from the Underground’ was just included in
the New York Times ‘Best Comedy of 2022’, where critic Jason Zinoman
called it the funniest YouTube Special of the year, and said ‘his
punchy and deliriously funny club comedy made me laugh after second and
third viewings.’ His first special ‘Downhill Ever Since’ is almost at
200K views on YouTube. Raanan performs all over the world and is a
regular at The Comedy Cellar.
In this video clip from The Tonight Show, Raanan rants about sobriety and getting older in America.
Candid Camera
was a popular and long-running American hidden camera reality
television series. Versions of the show appeared on television from 1948
until 2014. Originally created and produced by Allen Funt, it often featured practical jokes, and initially began on radio as The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947.
The show involved concealed cameras filming ordinary people being
confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props,
such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car
with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims were
told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera." The catchphrase became a song with music and lyrics by Sid Ramin.
Today
we're sharing a classic episode from 1962 in which the Candid Camera crew placed a basket with a 26-year-old "baby" on doorsteps and waited to see the homeowners' reactions. A note attached to the baby said "Take good care of Johnny. He is a good boy."
Yishai Fleisher, the International Spokesperson for the Jewish community of Hebron, has a weekly podcast. Last week he posted a video of Israeli comedian Shahar Hason telling a comedy club audience how the Israel Defense Forces are sometimes too nice to Israel's enemies.
Hason performs regularly in Tel Aviv's comedy scene and many of his comments are right on target.
It's
another Monday, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're
sharing a joke by Rabbi Shais Taub, an American Hasidic rabbi and
author.
Rabbi Taub
writes about Jewish mysticism and is also known for his work in the
field of addiction recovery. He is a weekly columnist for Ami magazine.
Here's
the setup: There was a group of simple Jews discussing the story of the Akeda (The Binding of Isaac). They were trying to figure out how old he was at the time of the Akeda. And then...
Every year thousands of Chabad shluchim (emissaries) gather for a kinus (international conference) and this year was no exception.
Last week 6,500 rabbis from all over the world convened for a group photo in Brooklyn in front of Chabad headquarters at 770 Eastern Parkway. After the photo they headed for a banquet in Edison, New Jersey.
The group gets bigger every year. When we reported on the gathering in 2011, 2016, and 2018, the number of attendees was around 5,000. As you can see, the photo is of men only, and the female members of the Chabad couples have their own separate conference.
In 2011 we had some fun with the photo shoot and embedded an image of the popular Waldo character to give our readers a chance to find "Where's Waldo" in the crowd.
In 2016 comedian Meir Kay joined in the photo wearing a Batman costume. The black outfit was a perfect match for the black clothed rabbis.
This year we're playing it straight and just showing the actual photo and a snippet from the hour-long effort to position all the rabbis for the photo shoot.
Dr. Joel Stein, Cantor Soloist at Kol Tikvah in Woodland Hills, California is a singer-songwriter, composer and producer in Los
Angeles.
Before Kol Tikvah, Joel led services at many temples in New York and LA
including B’nai Jeshurun and the Brotherhood Synagogue in Manhattan,
B’nai Keshet in Montclair, NJ, and Nachshon Minyan and Shomrei Torah in
LA.
Tonight we welcome Shabbat with a rendition of Yismechu by Cantor Soloist Joel Stein.
What's there to say about Larry David and his Curb Your Enthusiasm show? Either you love it or you hate it. Sometimes we love it and sometimes we hate it. But we have to admit that either way, we laugh a lot.
Some of the funniest episodes have had Jewish themes and one of our favorites was shown in Season 5, Episode 8. Titled Ski Lift Sundown, it finds Larry and Rachel (Iris Bahr), a single Orthodox Jewish girl, stranded on a ski lift that got stuck on a Friday evening and leaves them suspended in the air while the sun begins to set.
Rachel tells Larry that one of them has to jump because Jewish law forbids her to be in such proximity to a married man on Shabbat.
Subscribe now. Start each day with a smile. No cost, no obligation, no spam.
Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Daily Reyd
-
Available on Amazon and at your local bookstores • What’s the best thing to
say to a mourner? A rabbi responds • Lessons from the Amish – ‘I’ve Never
Heard...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
-
[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
-
Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
-
Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
your contribution and hope to be able to keep bringing you the most up to
date ...
Boarding School Massachusetts
-
Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
-
Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
-
It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
-
Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...