Gatorade Goes Kosher And The Jewish World Will Never Be The Same

It's official!  The Orthodox Union (OU) announced yesterday that Gatorade, the thirst quenching sports drink beloved by all observant Jewish athletes (all seven of them) and the many athlete-wannabes, is finally certified kosher.

The long-awaited announcement indicated that  G2, the low-calorie version of Gatorade, is now also certified kosher.

The significance of the availability of this new kosher product goes far beyond its thirst-quenching capability for T-Ball and Little League players.  

Not only can it be served at kiddush to restore the energy of congregants who lift the Torah after its reading is completed in the synagogue (hagbah) and those who carry it around the sanctuary, but it also can be an energy booster for all who exert themselves in putting out mounds of food and drink for the kiddush.

But wait, there's more.

According to the website, Joey Green's Wacky Uses for Gatorade, the brightly colored product can also be used to clean toilets, relieve morning sickness, cure a hangover, store bird seed, make a megaphone, and make bowling pins.
 
None of these uses were mentioned in the OU press release, which said:

Gatorade Thirst Quencher is the most thoroughly researched sports beverage in the world and is scientifically formulated and athletically proven to quench thirst, replace fluids and electrolytes, and provide carbohydrate energy to enhance athletic performance. By offering a scientifically proven blend of carbohydrates and key electrolytes, Gatorade Thirst Quencher is designed for use in the moment of activity to help athletes and active people hydrate, refuel and push through. G2 is a low-calorie option that delivers functional hydration to active people, but with less than half the calories of Gatorade Thirst Quencher.

To maintain kosher-certification, Gatorade will continue to undergo regular inspections by OU rabbinic representatives to ensure ingredients, formulas, processes and manufacturing plants comply with the guidelines for manufacturing kosher products. Throughout this process Gatorade has ensured the ingredients, efficacy and taste would not be altered. Gatorade Thirst Quencher and G2 will feature new packaging that includes the Orthodox Union certified kosher symbol, OU,which identifies products that may be consumed by those who maintain a kosher diet.

Here are some other possible uses for the newly approved sports drink (OK, so they are Purim parodies, but as we've said before, at Jewish Humor Central, it's Purim every day!)  Enjoy!