Funniest Tweets from Siyum HaShas at MetLife Stadium

Last night 90,000 Jews, mostly, but not all, ultra-Orthodox, gathered at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey for the twelfth Siyum HaShas - the completion of the seven and a half year cycle of reading all 2,711 pages of the Talmud, one day at a time. The first cycle began on Rosh Hashanah in 1923. The cycle is known as Daf Yomi (Daily Page.)

Yesterday's turnout was more than double the all-ultra-Orthodox crowd that filled Citi Field on May 20th to protest the evils of the internet. Like the anti-internet asifa (gathering), this one was live streamed over the internet and by telephone audio hookup. If population and learning trends continue in this direction, we wonder where they will find a venue for the completion of the next seven and a half year cycle, which starts today.

The rain didn't stop the enthusiastic crowd from attending the spectacle, which didn't end until 1 am this morning. Watching the sea of black hats, black suits, and white shirts over a blurry, jumpy connection, we were hoping for a spectacular opening ceremony with revered rabbis doing a parachute jump into the stadium like Queen Elizabeth and Daniel Craig did at the Olympics in London last week, but alas, all they did was give long speeches, mostly in Yiddish.

Just like the Citi Field gathering, yesterday's Siyum was followed by a host of volunteer commentators tweeting away on their smartphones, tablets, and computers. 

The tone of the tweets last night was very different from the tone at the asifa, where many of the tweets were critical of the attendees' negative attitude toward the internet, perhaps the greatest innovation in facilitating Jewish education since the invention of the printing press. The siyum hashas tweeters deserve credit for understanding that this was a worthy event celebrating a real educational achievement and the start of another. Most of the tweets were very positive, expressing joy in seeing so many happy Jews united in a good cause.

Another difference from the May gathering was that this time women were present, if not very visible. As Debra Nussbaum Cohen wrote in The Forward,

There will be lots of women at the big Siyum HaShas — which is the celebration of the completion of the daily study of the entire Talmud, which takes about 7½ years — on Wednesday evening. But they’ll be hidden behind a 25-foot high mechitzah, being installed at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey at a cost of $250,000. Agudath Israel of America, organizer of this mega-event, which some 92,000 people will attend, says that, at 2.5 linear miles, it’s the longest mechitzah in the world.

There will also be women at the smaller Siyum HaShas being organized by Rabbi Dov Linzer, the rosh yeshiva of “open Orthodox” rabbinical school Yeshivat Chovevei Torah. At that siyum, which will be held on August 6th at Congregation Shearith Israel on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, women will be at the evening of learning and celebration not only as full participants, but also as teachers.

But it was refreshing to see that the tweeters haven't lost their sense of humor and irony. So we present a sampling of what we think are the funniest tweets of the night. Enjoy!

Ok so now Michael Phelps ran into MetLife stadium carrying a torch, looking very lost.@cholentface

New York siyum set a Guinness World Record for largest mechitza. @adamkaroly

"I drove ALL THE WAY HERE from VERMONT, & this is the FIRST SIYUM I've been to that doesn't have any cake!" - Angry man at the Siyum HaShas. @cholentface

Dear Frum rappers, "Daf Yomi" rhymes with "Macaroni." You're welcome. @cholentface

i feel like a party crasher. you're suppose to do WHAT for 7.5 years beforehand? @jacobgoldman

When does the music start playing like at the Oscars? @acposen

If someone hasn't suggested it already, iit would be a great bit if someone dressed up in a Waldo costume ... @alicht
 
So. Let me be the first to ask. Where can Siyum Hashas go in 7.5 years to outdo 100,000 people in one location? @chaimshapiro

The gist: they tried to kill us, we survived, and now we're ridiculously smart. @SidBridgeComedy

Before the #Siyum ends SOMEONE needs to start the wave! @chaimshapiro

You think I'd get kicked out if I screamed out J E T S JETS JETS JETS!!! ? @edistenfeld

What's 4 hours of traffic when your ancestors wandered in the desert for 40 yrs? :) @JenMaxfield7

‏These Tzeduka collecters here are probably going home with a nice amount. Imagine just 100K $1 bills. @LChaimMusic

Hashem took us out of Egypt, gave us Israel, then he gave us MetLife Stadium. @SidBridgeComedy

Lost kid - yisroel meir section 148. Reply if he's yours. @mtydhd

Best announcement heard at Siyum HaShas: "The Rabbis at the dais should enter through the Bud Light gate." @RabbiStrul

The Siyum HaShas is like the Talmud Olympics. Marathon of 2711 pages studied. 7.5 years. 90,000 people. Global event. More stamina than speed. @bradlander

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Somebody'd better turn off the TV screens in the bathrooms at the Siyum HaShas broadcasting divrei Torah. @urielheilman

I heard someone get up in the John and start dancing he must have got inspired from the live feed in the stalls. @bulsh4thebirds

Sorry you weren't there? Be a fly on the wall by watching this video of 90,000 Jews singing and dancing at MetLife Stadium just after the completion of the Daf Yomi cycle. Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

(A tip of the kippah to MrMennyg for posting this video on YouTube late last night.)