The New Syria
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[image: Dry Bones cartoon, Syria, Israel, Hamas, Julani, Rebels, HTS,
Assad, Terrorists,]
Does Democracy have a Chance?
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14 hours ago
Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers. Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
(Photo: Kobi Gideon/GPO/FLASH90) |
Scattered in the audience among Israeli Cabinet ministers and local clergy sat actors Robert De Niro and Sharon Stone. Rwandan President Paul Kagame sat in the front row beside former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, now an international envoy to the Middle East.
The star of the night was Streisand, dressed in a flowing black dress accented with gold jewelry. Streisand sang the Jewish prayer "Avinu Malkeinu," which Peres called "heavenly" and gave her a long embrace and two kisses on the cheek. The prayer, which means "our Father, our King" is recited on the Jewish New Year and Yom Kippur, a day of fasting and reflection. Streisand said the prayer was meant to "cause all hate and oppression to vanish from the earth."
(Photo: Kobi Gideon/GPO/FLASH90)
Peres, who serves in a largely ceremonial position, was serenaded by local musicians and entertained by dance troupes, one of which intercut its music with inspirational quotes from the nonagenarian leader.Here's the video of Barbra Streisand singing Avinu Malkeinu at the event.
He has never played down his Jewishness.
One of his sons became a bar mitzvah at the Wall in Israel.
In his book, he writes that the Newharts (Bob Newhart is one of his favorite comedians) invite him and his wife over every Christmas eve. “Once in a while, Bob has a serious moment and says to me, ‘Don, you really enjoy Christmas, don’t you?’
“Sure I do,” Rickles answers. “One of our guys started it.”
He also writes that on the day of his wedding the phone rang at 4 a.m. in his hotel room in New York City. It was Cantor Yavne, from his childhood synagogue in Jackson Heights, who was to sing at the wedding in a few hours. He wanted Rickles and his cousin to meet him downstairs in a half-hour.
The cantor proceeded to drive Rickles and his cousin to the cemetery in Long Island where Rickles’ father was buried. “The cantor put on his white robe and prayer shawl,” Rickles said. “In the still of the morning, standing over my dear father’s grave, he sang the Hebrew prayer for the dead. He wailed; he sang with such tender feeling and heartfelt anguish that I felt the presence of God Almighty in every fiber of my being. Afterward, we recited the Kaddish, the Jewish mourners’ prayer, our words melting the morning fog to tears.
“Before we left, the cantor sang a prayer in Hebrew, inviting Dad to my wedding. Then he finished by saying, ‘May your soul be with us forever.’”For a good look at Rickles' humor, check out this 1993 interview with Larry King.
Gene Wilder as a Polish Rabbi in the Wild West in The Frisco Kid |
Education Minister Shai Piron (Yesh Atid) set the Knesset’s benches rolling Monday night when his attempt to address the plenum was frustrated — and ultimately doomed — by a sophomoric, uncontrollable fit of giggles, sparked by a double entendre.In a video posted on the Knesset’s YouTube channel, Piron can be seen taking the lectern to introduce to the Knesset a bill relating to smuggling in prisons. However, when Piron, who is also an ordained rabbi, reaches the words “insertion of forbidden items,” he immediately begins to snicker.
The Hebrew word for insertion — hahdara – connotes both penetration and smuggling.
“What’s so funny, minister?” asks a deadpan MK Moshe Feiglin (Likud), who chairs the debate.
Piron, apologetic, responds “No, no, no,” and tries to calm himself.MK Moshe Gafni (United Torah Judaism), seated in the opposition’s back benches, is more direct than Feiglin.“How is inserting objects in prisons a concern of the education minister?” he chortles.
The video of the Knesset episode is all in Hebrew with no English translation or subtitles. But really, no translation is needed.“I’m beginning to think, what can you insert?” quips Piron, and then finds himself unable to continue amid rising gales of laughter from the benches. “Enough Gafni, stop,” the minister pleads.Soon afterward, Feiglin’s hand can be seen entering the frame as he offers the helpless Piron a glass of water. Feiglin then addresses the MKs and asks them to calm down, noting that “despite the hour,” some people may still be watching the Knesset TV Channel at home.“Please, this is Israel’s Knesset,” Feiglin implores as other back-benchers attempt various attempts at further humor, and another legislator whips out her cellphone to capture an image of the chortling minister for posterity.For more than a minute, the minister — a portly, bespectacled figure — stands helpless at the microphone, his speech in his left hand, giggling, squealing, pushing his glasses up to his forehead and rubbing his eyes.“You want to wait a little?” asks Feiglin kindly, as Piron makes further failed efforts to resume reading his text. The minister takes a glass of water, but that doesn’t help either.In the end, Piron gives up trying to keep a straight face, and instead of making his speech, takes his glass of water and returns to his seat.A grinning but under-control Minister of Social Affairs Meir Cohen (Yesh Atid) takes Piron’s place and reads the bill, which proposes stricter punishment for those caught smuggling illicit items, and in particular mobile phones, into prisons.Just another late night in the Knesset.