Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Religiously observant Jews may not use electrical devices on the
Sabbath. Included in this prohibition is the use of an elevator.
However, they may use a "Shabbat Elevator", a regular elevator that has
been pre-set to stop on every floor and as such, the prohibited buttons
need not be pressed.
Shabbat elevators are commonly found in hotels frequented by Orthodox Jews and in high-rise apartment buildings in religious Jewish communities.
When entering a Shabbat elevator, the only difference from a regular elevator is usually the longer wait for the elevator to stop on each floor. But in this short video, from Ktzarim, an Israeli TV program that specializes in funny skits, the man waiting for the Shabbat elevator gets a surprise when the doors open.
Enjoy and Shabbat shalom!
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(A tip of the kippah to Shira, blogger at Seri0usly Yours, for finding and posting this video)
Rabbi Bob Alper's standup sets have made frequent appearances on Jewish Humor Central. We've been watching his funny DVD
and just can't resist sharing some of his jokes with you, especially
since he gave us permission to spread the joy that his humor brings to
live audiences and to viewers of the DVD. The
DVD contains his 50 minute standup set and a collection of jokes that
we're just starting to tap into. Here's one that we call "The Oldest Profession." Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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The Dean Martin Show was a big TV hit from 1965 to 1974. Comedian Jackie Mason was a frequent guest on Martin's show.
In this excerpt from the show, Mason plays Murray the barber who delivers one funny line after another while giving Martin a haircut.
During the three minute video clip, Mason touches on Martin's singing, music, sex, concerts, and the real reason why Schubert didn't finish his symphony. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Theodore Bikel, the actor and folk singer who created the role of Baron Von Trapp in The Sound of Music on Broadway and played the role of Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof more than 2,000 times, died last Tuesday in Los Angeles at the age of 91. As Richard Severo and Ralph Blumenthal wrote in The New York Times,
A
bulky, bearish man with an international background — he was born in
Vienna and lived for years in England and British-administered Palestine
— Mr. Bikel (pronounced bih-KEL) sang in 21 languages and was
comfortable playing characters of almost any nationality, whether comic
buffoons or scoundrels. He won warm reviews and a loyal following, but
it was often suggested that he was underappreciated — an “actor in
search of an ID,” in the words of a 1988 headline in The Los Angeles
Times.
To
many, Mr. Bikel was simply and enduringly Tevye, the stoic and
irrepressible Jewish peasant who survives czarist Russia only to be
brought low by his daughters. Zero Mostel originated the role on
Broadway in 1964, but Mr. Bikel took on the part in 1967 and never
entirely stopped, appearing in more than 2,000 performances of
“Fiddler.”
He also portrayed both Tevye and Tevye’s creator, the author Sholem Aleichem, in a one-man show, “Sholem Aleichem: Laughter Through Tears,” with which he began touring in late 2008, when he was 84.
In
his autobiography, “Theo,” first published in 1994 and revised in 2002
and 2014, he wrote with scant modesty that he was often asked “which of
the many things I do I enjoy most.”
His answer: “Versatility in itself.”
We first encountered Theo Bikel when he performed for a student group at City College's Buttenwieser Lounge around 1960. We collected most of his LP records and sang many of his Hebrew, Yiddish, and Russian songs, including The Kretchma. It's a comic song about a Russian drinking establishment where the vodka flowed all night and Natasha, the singer and dancer, had shoulders that vibrate, but "when she's singing, you see that she can't."
We found a video of Bikel singing this song on The Hollywood Palace, hosted by Gene Barry on May 6, 1967. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We thought we had exhausted the supply of clean jokes from Old Jews Telling Jokes. But we found that a similar project existed in the United Kingdom. So this Monday our joke to start the week comes from the UK. The joke teller is Andrew, a 62-year-old food importer. Here's
the setup: Sheldon Goldbaum's parents wanted to do something different
for his Bar Mitzvah. So they invited 200 of their close family and
friends to go to India, to Jaipur in Rajasthan to the pink palace of the
Maharaja. And then...
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If you were expecting a joke today, we're sorry to disappoint you. You'll have to wait until tomorrow.
Today is Tisha B'Av,
an annual fast day in Judaism which commemorates the destruction of the
First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and the subsequent exile of the
Jews from the Land of Israel. The day also commemorates other tragedies which occurred on the same
day, including the Roman massacre of over 100,000 Jews at Betar in 132 CE. Instituted by the rabbis of 2nd-century Palestine. Tisha B'Av
is regarded as the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, a day in which
all pleasurable activity is forbidden, and is marked by synagogue
attendance the night before and during the day. But that doesn't mean
there's no singing, or more accurately, chanting. The highlight of the day's service is the chanting of the megillah of Eicha (Lamentations), written by the prophet Jeremiah. Eicha is read in synagogues and in groups meeting indoors and outdoors.
In some Jewish communities Psalm 137 is recited or chanted. It reads:
Psalms Chapter 137
1. By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, we also wept, when we remembered Zion. 2. We hung our lyres on the willows in its midst. 3.
For there those who carried us away captive required of us a song; and
those who tormented us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the
songs of Zion. 4. How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?
5. If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning. 6. If I do not remember you, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy. 7. Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites, the day of Jerusalem; who said, Raze it, raze it, to its foundation. 8. O daughter of Babylon, you are to be destroyed! Happy shall he be, who repays you for what you have done to us. 9. Happy shall he be, who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock.
Here is a rendition of Psalm 137 sung by Meidad Tasa, from the film Jerusalem Code. (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Last week we posted the first part of a four part interview of Eric Spiegelman, co-creator with Sam Hoffman of Old Jews Telling Jokes.
The interview was conducted by TV talk show host Connie Martinson. Old Jews Telling Jokes started out as a website in
2009. Hundreds of jokes later it morphed into a book, a set of CDs and
DVDs, and then an off-Broadway show that later toured the USA. The
jokes, told by Jews 65 and older, have been widely reprinted and
reposted on the Internet. At Jewish Humor Central, we have used many of
the video clips in our Joke to Start the Week on Mondays. Today we'll
share part two with you and give you some insights into the creative
process for the series and let you hear some of the jokes, too. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Rabbi Bob Alper's standup sets have made frequent appearances on Jewish Humor Central. We've been watching his funny DVD
and just can't resist sharing some of his jokes with you, especially
since he gave us permission to spread the joy that his humor brings to
live audiences and to viewers of the DVD. The
DVD contains his 50 minute standup set and a collection of jokes that
we're just starting to tap into. Here's one that we call "Cat Heaven."
Enjoy!
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We've been running selected clips from the contestants at The Jewish Week's "Funniest Jewish Comic" Contest and special guests like Freddie Roman.
Belinda Boxer was the second place winner at the finals at the Broadway Comedy Club last month. We're featuring a video clip from Belinda's act below. You can see her complete performance by clicking here. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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More than 70,000 children attend Jewish summer camps across the United States each summer.
When they start the next school year, whether it's in a Orthodox or Conservative day school or in a public school, they come with a strong sense of their Jewish identity and a personal connection with Israel, its culture, and its music. A 2011 study found that camp alumni show higher levels of Jewish engagement in everything from ritual observance to Jewish charitable giving to marrying within the faith. Overnight (sleepaway) camp is a total immersion in Jewish life and is the usual subject of studies like this one, but day camps also play a major role in keeping Jewish connections alive during the summer months. Notable among these summer day camps is Ramah Day Camp in Nyack, New York, which provides children who are entering grades K-8 with a camping
experience in a setting of love, friendship, wonder and discovery, a
setting where Judaism is integral to daily activities. Camps like this one are feeder camps for overnight camps when the children get older. One of the most anticipated days in the Ramah camp calendar is the Zimriah, a songfest where all of the children, together with their counselors and staff, display their singing talents and command of Hebrew. Last week, only a few weeks into the camp season, the Zimriah took place outdoors on the camp grounds. Enjoy!
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It's Monday again, and we're bringing back Jerry Ostrov, Founder of the ReThink Israel Initiative, to help us start the week off with another joke.
The ReThink Israel Initiative,which operates the Facebook site From the Grapevine, was created to provide a fresh perspective on Israel.
From the land’s natural beauty to Tel Aviv's vibrant technology
scene; from the global culinary world's focus on Israeli food and
recipes to the innovative Israelis who are changing the world –
FromTheGrapevine covers the bounty of what Israel is about today.
Here's the setup for today's joke: The old Jewish couple is standing in the Pale, and Chaim says to Sadie: "Listen, Sadie, every year they beat us up. They want us to convert. Our children are gone, our grandchildren are gone. Why don't we just convert? And then... Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Last week Noa (Achinoam Nini), Israel’s leading international concert and recording artist, performed at an event with Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli in Vatican City. The singer, who attended SAR Academy and the Ramaz Upper School in New York City, has performed all over the world and recorded songs in nine languages.
Noa, who three decades ago became the first Jewish woman to perform in
the Vatican for a pope — John Paul II — called Pope Francis, on her Facebook
page, “an example for world leaders everywhere. “Without the intervention of important religious leaders we will not
have peace,” she said. “We can work on the political and the diplomatic
level, on the social level, but it is really the religious leaders who
must [each] call their constituency and tell them: ‘No more war in the
name of God, no more hate in the name of God.’”
Performing in front of a crowd estimated at 30,000, Noa and Bocelli sang Beautiful That Way in English, Hebrew, and Italian. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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For the past 17 years The Jewish Week, New York's foremost weekly with all the Jewish news that's fit to print, has been sponsoring a contest to find the funniest Jewish comedian.
We attended the finals last month and have video footage of some of the contestants that we'll bring to you in the next few weeks. The only criteria that we're aware of is that each contestant be both funny and Jewish. The contest, held this year at the Broadway Comedy Club in Manhattan, is produced by comedian and comedy teacher Geoff Kole. The contest preliminaries and the final contest were held on consecutive Sundays during the month of June. Before the first attendees walked onto the stage, Freddie Roman, the veteran Catskills comic, took the microphone to introduce the contesants.
Freddie told a few old Catskills jokes, including one that he says is his favorite story in the whole world.
Enjoy!
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Who would have thought that a 1999 recording of a traditional Hebrew song by a bunch of Jewish choir boys would start a flash mob dance craze around the world?
But that's just what effect the Miami Boys Choir has had on dancers in the streets of cities in America, Canada, Europe, and even Saigon, South Vietnam. The Miami Boys Choir, founded and directed by Yerachmiel Begun, has moved to Manhattan since releasing its first few recordings.
They are now more popular than ever, and their rendition of Hinei Ma Tov on their album Stand Up! has struck a chord internationally. Here is the dance being performed in the streets of Saigon, followed by the original video of the boys singing and dancing in Jerusalem. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Who do you think of when people start reminiscing about funny musical parodies? Allan Sherman? Weird Al Yankovic? Sure, but growing up in a world of Jewish and liturgical music, the name that always came to mind first was Seymour Rockoff, a rabbi and cantor who passed away last week in Harrisburg, PA. One of the creators of the series of parody record albums titled Rechnitzer Rejects, Rockoff had a knack for applying a funny twist in writing new lyrics to popular songs.
In 2007 the Yeshiva University publication Chavrusa wrote:
Marty Davidson, who served in cantorial posts in Baltimore and Jerusalem,
approached him with an idea of producing an album with humorous songs.
Rabbi Rockoff appeared on the first five of Davidson’s eight volumes of Rechnitzer Rejects, the albums containing these songs.
Rabbi Rockoff ’s sense of humor and natural ability to entertain provided a different and creative outlet for him. When attending the annual conventions of the Cantorial Council of America, he would share with his colleagues some of his spoofs, taking traditional American tunes and changing the lyrics to make them more Jewish.
Rabbi Rockoff wrote and recorded such tunes as ‘Boro Park’ (sung to ‘New York, New York’), ‘Cold Chopped Liver’ (sung to ‘Ol Man River’), ‘Searching Through the Night’ (sung to ‘Strangers in the Night’) and ‘Learning How to Layn’ (sung to ‘Singing in the Rain’).
We couldn't find a video of Rabbi Rockoff singing his own words, but here's a video of Cantor Henry Rosenblum singing Cold Chopped Liver at a concert at Beth Tzedec Congregation in Toronto in 2010. The original lyrics by Rabbi Rockoff appear below. Enjoy!
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VIDEO.) Cantor Henry Rosenblum singing "Cold Chopped Liver, "Cantor Seymour Rockoff's parody of Ol' Man River When I return to my Shabbos table After I spend so much time in shul I am so hungry that I am not able To keep far away from that dish so cruel
Every week I take one taste, I spread it on a cracker like a fleishik paste It tastes so good I clean the plate A few hours later I don’t feel so great
Oy,
Cold chopped liver, that heartburn giver, I shouldn’t choose it but I cant refuse it It keeps me groaning, just keeps me groaning, oy vey
I don’t eat taters, I skip the chicken, Although each shtickel is finger licken Just cold chopped liver what keeps me groaning oy vey
Some matzo meal, a little chicken fat Keeps the chopped liver from falling flat Salt and pepper give it ta'am and spice I chop a few onions and I pay the price
I must promise that come next Shabbos I won't surrender to that stomach bender That cold chopped liver, what keeps me groaning oy vey
Old Jews Telling Jokes started out as a website created by Sam Hoffman and Eric Spiegelman in 2009. Hundreds of jokes later it morphed into a book, a set of CDs and DVDs, and then an off-Broadway show that later toured the USA.
The jokes, told by Jews 65 and older, have been widely reprinted and reposted on the Internet. At Jewish Humor Central, we have used many of the video clips in our Joke to Start the Week on Mondays. How did this project get started? TV talk show host Connie Martinson interviewed co-creator Eric Spiegelman a few years ago when the book came out. The interview is posted on YouTube in four parts. Today we'll share part one with you and give you some insights into the creative process for the series and let you hear some of the jokes, too. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's
Monday again, so it's time to start the week with a new old joke. Once
again our joke teller is Jerry Ostrov, founder of The reThink Israel
Initiative, which operates the Facebook site From the Grapevine. This site was created to provide a fresh perspective on Israel. From the land’s natural beauty to Tel Aviv's vibrant technology
scene; from the global culinary world's focus on Israeli food and
recipes to the innovative Israelis who are changing the world –
FromTheGrapevine covers the bounty of what Israel is about today. Here's
the setup for today's joke: Adam and Eve are sitting in the Garden of Eden....a beautiful garden, stream, trees. And Adam cuddles up to Eve and then...
Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Last February, two funny and nostalgic movies were shown in a limited release for one week in a few locations in Florida and California.
The first film, Welcome to Kutsher's, was released on June 23 on DVD and on Video on Demand. Now, the second film, Deli Man, has also been released on DVD and VOD. Before their debut in February, both films were widely acclaimed when shown at Jewish Film Festivals around the world. We wrote about Welcome to Kutsher's on July 1. Now we're happy to share information and a sneak peek trailer of Deli Man.
For some, delicatessen
food is close to a religious experience. A tender, crumbling cut of
corned beef steeped in its juices. A full-bodied garlic dill pickle.
Spicy brown mustard with grain. A blintz that melts in your mouth like a
creamsicle on a summer’s day. Recipes and culinary garnishes from
Hungary, Poland, Russia, Romania that flowed into late 19th and early
20th century America and soon became part of an American culinary and
cultural vernacular – Deli.
Deli Man is a documentary film produced and directed by Erik
Greenberg Anjou; the third work in his trilogy about Jewish culture. The
celebrated preceding films are “A Cantor’s Tale” and “The Klezmatics -
On Holy Ground,” which have to date screened at more than two hundred
international film festivals and have been broadcast in the U.S.,
Israel, Canada and Poland.
The principal guide of Deli Man is the
effusive and charming Ziggy Gruber, a third-generation delicatessen man,
owner and maven (as well as a Yiddish-speaking French trained chef) who
currently operates one of the country’s top delis, Kenny and Ziggy’s in
Houston. Kenny and Ziggy’s has been touted in press reviews ranging
from “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” to the L.A. Daily News.
We saw Deli Man at the Rutgers Jewish Film Festival last November when it was shown as a sneak preview. It's now available as a DVD or Instant Video.
Here's the trailer. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We've been following the trail of Adon Olam, the traditional song that ends the Shabbat morning service, as it appears in new forms in countries around the world. After singing along with congregations in Brazil, Budapest, Israel, and throughout the USA, today we're taking you to Winter Park, an Orlando, Florida suburb to see the cantor and children of Temple Israel as they sang Adon Olam last week to the tune of America the Beautiful in tribute to our nation's observance of Independence Day on the Fourth of July. Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! (A
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Rabbi Bob Alper's standup sets have made frequent appearances on Jewish Humor Central. We've been watching his funny DVD
and just can't resist sharing some of his jokes with you, especially
since he gave us permission to spread the joy that his humor brings to
live audiences and to viewers of the DVD. The
DVD contains his 50 minute standup set and a collection of jokes that
we're just starting to tap into. Here's one that we call "Magic Revival." Enjoy! (A
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Why is there a hole in a bagel? Why does a matzo ball float? What does a gefilte fish look like?
The Jewish Food Experience (JFE), a project launched in December 2012 posed these questions to a panel of experts (OK, they are a bunch of toddlers) and got some funny and endearing answers. The Jewish Food Experience is a website that brings people together through the universal language of
Jewish food, which is so much a part of Jewish culture, tradition and
even religion. And food is a shared experience, so JFE also wants to
help you make the most of times with families and friends.
On the website, local “foodies” including chefs, restaurateurs, wine experts, food
critics and writers share exciting news, recipes and stories.It's a place to find Jewish food with modern
twists, international flavors, tastes for holidays and occasions, the
latest about the local Jewish food scene, volunteer efforts to fight hunger, food-related events and recipes that will include locally sourced and organic options as well as
vegetarian, gluten-free and other dietary needs.
It's worth checking out, and we think you'll like the kids' answers to timeless questions about Jewish food. Enjoy!
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Comedian Freddie Roman has been a fixture in Catskill Mountains hotels and bungalow colonies for more than 55 years. We caught up with Freddie last Sunday at the finals for The Jewish Week's Funniest Comedian contest and had a delightful conversation about his stand-up routines and his role in the recent documentary Welcome to Kutsher's. Freddie was the headliner for the contest at the Broadway Comedy Club and told some of his favorite jokes. A year ago he reminisced about his life in the Catskills, traveling from
hotel to hotel to bungalow colony, sometimes doing three shows in one
night, and in one year doing 91 shows between July 4 and Labor Day. Here's the video, taped prior to his performance at Lansmans Bungalow Colony.
Enjoy!
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