Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Dick Shawn was born Richard Schulefand in Buffalo, New York and raised in adjacent Lackawanna.
The best remembered roles of his career are the hot-headed Sylvester Marcus, son of Mrs. Marcus (Ethel Merman), in Stanley Kramer's It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963) and easygoing Lorenzo St. DuBois/Adolf Hitler in the musical Springtime for Hitler, the play within Mel Brooks's movie The Producers (1968).
He had continued success with his stand-up comedy act that he
successfully performed for over 35 years in nightclubs around the world.
His award-winning one-man stage show, The Second Greatest Entertainer in the Whole Wide World,
was sometimes performed with a unique opening. When the audience
entered the theater, they saw a bare stage with a pile of bricks in
stage center. When the play began, Shawn emerged from the pile of
bricks. The startling effect of this required complete concentration and
breath control because the slightest movement of the bricks could ruin
the surprise appearance.
In addition to roles in more than 30 movies and seven Broadway
productions, Shawn made numerous television appearances, toured often,
and periodically performed a one-man show that mixed songs, sketches,
and pantomime.
In this video clip of his appearance on The Johnny Carson Show (hosted by Joan Rivers), Shawn does a monologue on Jews in athletics, announcing, and religion followed by a session on the interview couch with Rivers.
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We've
been following the Canadian comedy duo of Jamie Elman and Eli Batalion
as they travel the world in search of funny situtations involving
Yiddish culture, language, and food.
Their web series, YidLife Crisis, was recently nominated for a Canadian Screen Award for
best original digital media series. They have taken their act on the road,
performing a live version of their show in Krakow, Tel Aviv, Toronto,
Montreal, Los Angeles and Birmingham, England.
The pair has also
received a prestigious grant from the Natan Fund and have created a
series of travelogues featuring their impressions of Tel Aviv. We previously posted their funny Valentine’s Day episode guest staring Mayim Bialik and two of their Tel Aviv episodes, Canadians in Cabs Getting Kishkas, andSearching for Yiddish Speakers and Second Hand Items in Old Jaffa There's
a lot of Yiddish in some of the episodes and some of the English
includes coarse language that we avoid in our family-friendly posts, so
we pick the episodes that we share with you very carefully.
Today we're posting another one of their Tel Aviv episodes .
In it, they visit Beit Hatfutsot, Tel Aviv's Museum of the Jewish People. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's Monday again and time for another joke to start the week. This week we found another joke from the archives of Old Jews Telling Jokes. Today's joke teller is clinical drug study printer Richard Levine. Here's the setup: A Jewish guy has a ranch in Texas and he has a prize bull. Every year this prize bull wins another blue ribbon. And then... Enjoy! SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Comedian Monica Piper, the Emmy Award-winning and Golden Globe nominated writer and actress who we've featured doing stand-up comedy earlier this year, is starring in Not So Jewish, a hilarious and heartfelt
autobiographical ride of a Jew-“ish” woman’s life.
It's the one-woman show she wrote and performed for the Jewish Women's Theatre in Santa Monica, California. It's playing now at the New World Stages on West 50th Street in New York City.
From her show
business family in the Bronx, to a WASP wedding, to her first step on a
comedy club stage and life as a single mom, Piper shares the milestones
and moments that shaped her life with the same signature wit found in
her writing on Roseanne, Mad About You, and Rugrats.
The show is reminiscent of Billy Crystal's 700 Sundays with a peppering of Neil
Simon's Lost In Yonkers, Reviewers have called it 90 lightning fast minutes of
funny, moving, intimate and inspirational theater.
Here's a video clip from the show. Enjoy!
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Hevenu
Shalom Aleichem is one of the most widely played and sung Hebrew songs
around the world, probably second only to Hava Nagila. We have been
sharing versions of this song as performed in India, Guatemala, Australia, Korea, Belarus, and in an Irish pub.
We came across a version of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem performed at a concert in Belgium by Helmut Lotti, a Belgian tenor and singer-songwriter. He performs in several styles and languages.
Once
an Elvis impersonator, he has sung African and Latino hit records, and
he crossed over into classical music in the 1990s. Lotti sings fluently in his mother language Dutch, as well as Afrikaans, English, French, German, Hebrew, Italian, Latin, Russian, Spanish, and Ukrainian. He has sold over 13 million albums worldwide and received over 90 platinum and 70 gold albums.
Lotti does volunteer work as an ambassador for UNICEF.
Enjoy and Shabbat shalom!
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Comedian/Actor Adam Sandler struck gold on Saturday Night Live when he sang his Chanukah Song. But less known is his Thanksgiving Song which we're sharing with you today.
Just like The Chanukah Song, it's made up of silly rhymes, some of which don't make any sense, but which are funny nevertheless.
Unlike The Chanukah Song, which includes list of people who are one quarter, half, or fully Jewish, the Thanksgiving Song is Sandler's free association of anything that has to do with Thanksgiving and anything that rhymes with it, such as "Turkey with the girls and turkey with the boys; my favorite kind of pants are corduroys." Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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The children of the Orlando Jewish Day School and Chai Preschool know that Thanksgiving Day is a time to give thanks. And in this video, they are outspoken in expressing thanks for all the wonderful things in their lives. They give thanks to their mom and dad, abba and ema, bubby and zaide, teachers and school. Thanksgiving is an American holiday, but it feels like a Jewish holiday. In many families where Shabbat and Yom Tov restrictions on traveling make large gatherings difficult, Thanksgiving is the one day each year when large families and groups of friends can look forward to feasting together. From our family to yours, we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Comedian Jerry Seinfeld dropped in to the Stephen Colbert show earlier this year to show that he hasn't lost his touch with standup comedy. After years of being associated with his Seinfeld TV sitcom series, he picked up the microphone and carried on for seven minutes on food and weight related topics, with funny observations on the state of the nation's girth, donut holes, buffets, and TV dinners. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's
going to be a busy week, with Thanksgiving holiday travel and family gatherings
and a mixture of anticipation and stress. What a perfect time for a joke to
start the week.
Once again we're glad to welcome back Michael Hirsch, who has been featured as
a Jewish Humor Central joke teller this year.
Today Michael, an investment advisor for individuals and institutions, gives us
a shaggy dog story that evokes memories of the Frankenstein novels and movies.
Here's the setup: Igor is sitting in Frankenstein's castle one evening when the
front doorbell rings. And then...
Enjoy!
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Shaquille O'Neal, the retired professional basketball player who is currently an analyst on the television program Inside the NBA, showed off his skill at a different sport last week -- dancing the Hora.
Seven feet tall and weighing 350 pounds, he was one of the heaviest players
ever to play in the NBA. O'Neal played for six teams throughout his
19-year NBA career.
It happened at the Salter-Markowitz wedding in Miami, where O'Neal was a guest of Jamie Salter's, the father of the
groom and his partner at Authentic Brands Group.
As the staff of TMZ reported,
We're told the entire party was poppin' until around 2:30 AM (oy vey)
and at one point Shaq took to the dance floor -- but instead of his
tried-and-true pop-locking routine, he got cultural ... and Horah'd it
up.
BTW -- we're also told efforts were actually made to lift Shaq up in a
chair (part of the dance) but they were predictably unsuccessful.
Which means we'll never know the answer to the question -- how many Jews does it take to lift Shaquille O'Neal?
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Using only her fingers, Ilana Yahav, a world renowned sand artist,
creates a wonderful and magical story that emerges in front of the eyes
of amazed viewers. This week she collaborated with the German klezmer band called Crazy Freilach in a very unusual performance of Adon Olam in a concert at the Kfar Saba Conservatory in Israel. We have posted many variations of Adon Olam as performed around the world, but this one has to rank as one of the most unusual ones. We hope you find it as uplifting and entertaining as we did as we prepare for Shabbat. Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Today
we're bringing you part two of our report from Kosherfest 2016.
On Tuesday, the first day of the show, we interviewed representatives of companies exhibiting a variety of products, some of which were
prize winners and others that just appealed to us as being unusual or of
special interest. We posted five segments yesterday and another four
today.
The products are Unorthodox Wines from South Africa, Cheesecake cones, Kosher Sake from Japan, Asian Meals in a Box, Seaweed Chips, Dyna-Sea Surimi Imitation Crab Cakes, Kosher Korean Kimchi, Smartfruit drinks, Manischewitz Matzo S'mores and Matzo Pizza Kits for Kids.
More
than 400 exhibitors lined both sides of seven aisles to vie for
the attention of visitors (trade only -- but some kiddush aficionados
seem to have found their way into the hall) who tried to manage noshing
and stuffing literature into the bags provided by some vendors (and rolling suitcases brought by attendees). And
there was plenty to nosh and to stuff.
Some
of the samples were meat, some were dairy, and some were pareve. But all
three types were scattered around the show floor, so anyone trying to
keep kosher had to make careful choices.
We
apologize for the loud background noise from the 6,000 attendees
milling about the exhibit space while we were conducting the interviews. Enjoy!
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Unorthodox Wines from South Africa, Cheesecake cones, Kosher sake, Asian meals in a box, Seaweed chips, Pareve chocolate spreads, Matzo S'mores, Matzo Pizza, Smart Fruit juices, and Kosher Korean Kimchi. These are some of the prize winning
and unusual products on display yesterday and today for the thousands
of visitors representing all aspects of the food industry at Kosherfest 2016 at the Meadowlands Exposition Center in Secaucus, New Jersey.
More
than 400 exhibitors lining both sides of seven aisles are vying for
the attention of visitors (trade only -- but some kiddush aficionados
seem to have found their way into the hall) who try to manage noshing
and stuffing literature into the bags provided by some vendors (and rolling suitcases brought by attendees). And
there's plenty to nosh and to stuff.
Some
of the samples are meat, some are dairy, and some are pareve. But all
three types are scattered around the show floor, so anyone trying to
keep kosher has to make careful choices.
The
vendors are hoping that visitors will make bulk purchases, and some of
the newer, smaller, and foreign companies exhibiting for the first
time are hoping to find distributors who will bring their wares to your
local supermarket.
If
you love kiddush, can make a case for being in some kind of
food-related business, have a few hours to spare and don't mind walking a a quarter mile to a parking lot, this is the place for you. It's still
open all day today, Wednesday, from 10 am to 4 pm. The on-site
registration fee is $100.
We
interviewed a few of the exhibitors and got closeups of some of the
more unusual delicacies in this video for you to savor. We're
presenting them in two parts today and tomorrow.
We
apologize for the loud background noise from the 6,000 attendees
milling about the exhibit space while we were conducting the interviews.
Enjoy!
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Meir Kalmanson has been posting funny Jewish videos on YouTube under the name Meir Kay. An Orthodox Jewish filmmaker from Brooklyn, his aim is to spread "happiness and positivity." We've already featured one of his videos in April 2015 on the Evolution of Chassidic Dance. A video of him wandering the streets of New York and high fiving unsuspecting strangers who were raising their hands to hail a cab made it onto a Fox 5 TV newscast. We'll be showing you some of his other comedy videos in the coming weeks. Here's the original high fiving video followed by the TV news report. Enjoy! (A
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Bob
is an 88-year-old retired Assistant Principal
in the New York school system. His summer duties include joke telling
sessions with the seniors who come to the mountains for a summer
vacation.
Here's the setup for today's joke: Sadie walks into a restaurant and sees her husband Harry sitting at a table with a young woman. And then...
Enjoy!
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Our tribute to Leonard Cohen on Friday was so well received that we got requests for more videos of his songs. We will be posting some of his other works in the future, but today we're extending the tribute by posting one of the latest versions of his signature song Hallelujah, in Yiddish, performed by Daniel Kahn. Hallelujah has been performed by almost 200 artists in various languages. The song is the subject of the book The Holy or the Broken: Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley & the Unlikely Ascent of 'Hallelujah' (2012) by Alan Light.
In a New York Times review Janet Maslin
praised the book and the song, noting that "Cohen spent years
struggling with his song Hallelujah, which eventually became one of
the most "oft-performed songs in American musical history."
This week Jordan Kutzik's article in The Forward tells about how he got Daniel Kahn to record his Yiddish version. Kutzik wrote:
A world-class singer of more traditional Yiddish fare and a
brilliant songwriter in English in his own right Kahn’s unique genius
lies in his self-described “tradaptations,” his translations and
adaptations of songs across languages.
He, along with his friend and mentor the late Theo Bikel, is one of
the few masters of creating singable English versions of Yiddish songs.
Due
to the confines of rhyme and meter song translations always vary a bit
in literal meaning from their source material. As such the English
subtitles are a literal translation of Kahn’s version of the song rather
than Leonard Cohen’s original text. As you will see the two vary in
some ways but match entirely in spirit.
The world of popular music lost a giant yesterday when Leonard Cohen, the Canadian singer, songwriter, poet and novelist died at the age of 82. His work has explored
religion, politics, isolation, sexuality, and personal relationships. Cohen has been inducted into both the Canadian Music Hall of Fame and the Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame as well as the American Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He was also a Companion of the Order of Canada, the nation's highest civilian honor. Cohen has been described as a Sabbath observing Jew. He has been involved with Buddhism
since the 1970s and was ordained a Buddhist monk in 1996; however, he
still considers himself Jewish: "I'm not looking for a new religion. I'm
quite happy with the old one, with Judaism." he said. Last month, at a press conference related to his latest album You Want it Darker, Cohen was asked about his spirituality and faith. In this video clip, he said that he didn't see himself as religious, but that the Biblical landscape that he grew up with inspired the Judaic references in his songs, such as the story of David and Bathsheba in his Hallelujah. In 2009, when Cohen appeared before a large audience in the Ramat Gan stadium near Tel Aviv, he performed Hallelujah and ended with the priestly blessing said by the Kohanim in the synagogue. Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.) Leonard Cohen performs Hallelujah in Ramat Gan concert
Priestly blessing in Israel to the crowd at his concert at the Ramat Gan stadium
The Goldbergs was a comedy-drama broadcast from 1929 to 1946 on American
radio, and from 1949 to 1956 on American television. It was adapted into
a 1948 play, Me and Molly; a 1950 film, The Goldbergs; and a 1973
Broadway musical, Molly. The program was devised by writer-actress
Gertrude Berg in 1928 and sold to the NBC radio network the following
year. It was a domestic comedy featuring the home life of a Jewish
family, supposedly located at 1038 East Tremont Avenue in the Bronx. In
addition to writing the scripts and directing each episode, Berg starred
as bighearted, lovingly meddlesome, and somewhat stereotypical Jewish
matriarch Molly Goldberg. The show began as a portrait of Jewish
tenement life before later evoking such growing pains as moving into a
more suburban setting and struggling with assimilation while sustaining
their roots. The Goldbergs began as a weekly 15-minute program
called The Rise of the Goldbergs on November 20, 1929, going daily in
1931. The series moved to CBS in 1936 with the title shortened to The
Goldbergs. Like other 15-minute comedies of the day, such as Amos 'n'
Andy, Lum and Abner, Easy Aces, Vic and Sade and Myrt and Marge, The
Goldbergs was a serial with running storylines. Berg's usual
introduction—in character as Molly, hollering, "Yoo-hoo! Is
anybody...?"—became a catchphrase. Let's get into the time machine and go back 64 years to 1952 for a taste of this classic series. In this 15 minute episode, Molly's cousin Simon offers Molly the use of his house in Florida for a week. The week becomes four weeks so Molly generously offers the extra weeks to her extended family. Amid all the planning, complications develop that jeopardize the trip. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Hummus - the delicious, nutritious superfood sweeping America - has the
power to bring Muslims, Christians and Jews together... in the Middle
East, America and around the world. Hummus. Claimed by all. Owned by
none.
In Hummus! The Movie we meet three main characters - a hard
working Muslim woman, an ever-smiling Jew and a young Christian Arab on a
quest for meaning. And they all have one thing in common... a love of
Hummus. Hummus! The Movie also spotlights "The World's Largest Serving
of Hummus" - the fiercely fought Guinness World Record title currently
held by a Lebanese Hummus maker at a huge 23,042lb (10,451kg)!
But
beyond the competition, beyond arguments over the best Hummus and even
beyond religious and political divides, Hummus! The Movie tells the
touching personal stories of the colorful men and women who love their
Hummus.
The hour-long film is being shown at Jewish Film Festivals. Here is the trailer.
Enjoy!
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
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The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Bishul Akum on Food that Is Improved by Cooking
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by R. Daniel Mann Question: I learned that there is no bishul akum (the
Rabbinical prohibition on food cooked by a non-Jew) for foods that can be
eaten raw...
Second Term
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[image: Dry Bones cartoon, America,President,Trump, Election,]
An Historic Win!
* * * Please support DRY BONES (through PayPal or your Credit Card,)
Just cl...
Kosher Guide to Disney World & Disneyland 2025
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Comprehensive Guide to Finding Kosher Meals at Disney Parks in Florida and
California Traveling kosher at Disney Parks is still not a seamless
experience...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
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Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
your contribution and hope to be able to keep bringing you the most up to
date ...
Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...