Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel's Independence Day, is always preceded by Yom HaZikaron,
Israel’s Memorial Day for its fallen soldiers. The message of linking
these two days is clear: Israelis owe their independence — the very
existence of the state — to the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for
it. This year Yom HaZikaron begins tonight and will be observed tomorrow until nightfall when the Yom HaAtzmaut festivities begin and continue through Tuesday.
To
mark these two important dates in the Jewish calendar, today we're
sharing a special video of Shai Abramson, Chief Cantor of the IDF, singing the prayer for Israel's soldiers at the Western Wall. Tomorrow we'll celebrate Israel's
69th birthday.
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The Revivo Project is one of the most successful bands in Israel. The three singers in the band are Israeli musical producer and composer Raviv
Ben Menachem,
Raviv’s brother – Nir Ben Menachem, and their close friend Eliran Tsur.
The project wasn’t founded for commercial use -- the band members’ goal
was to record and reproduce their favorite’s nostalgic songs into
medleys, and to respect the Israeli singers and creators of the 70’s
and 80’s. The band created for their music colorful video clips in the
style of “Takzina” – a form of gathering with music and liquor that was
very common in those years. The success was immediate and
surprised the whole Israeli music industry. The band released
seven albums, including a live album from their huge 10,000 people
concert in front of the walls of the old city of Jerusalem. All of them
were a huge success in Israel and around the world with tens of millions
of views on YouTube and millions of uses on digital music stores. The
band also won many awards such as “band of the year” award, gold albums
and the YouTube silver button award for having more than 100,000
subscribers on their channel. Today the Revivo Project joins us in welcoming Shabbat wherever we are. We're not exactly sure what they're drinking, smoking, and chewing, but judging from the fun they're having with Lecha Dodi and the other Shabbat songs in the medley, we'll have what they're having. Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! A
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With Passover behind us, we're getting back into the groove of dipping into the comedy archive every Thursday, and pulling out a beloved comedy sketch from such favorite TV programs as Your Show of Shows. In this episode from the early 1950s, Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca take on the roles of Eddie and Doris Hickenlooper, a happily married couple who always seem to find something to bicker about. As they get ready to go to bed (in single beds, which was the way the TV censors wanted it back then), Sid tells Imogene a joke that she doesn't get. And then the fun begins. Enjoy! A
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The ultra-Orthodox town of B'nei B'rak in Israel has given a new meaning to blue movies.
When it became known that the latest Smurf movie Smurfs: The Lost Village included Smurfette, the blonde girl Smurf, the PR company promoting the film
confirmed that it had removed images of Smurfette from promotional
material in order to avoid causing offense to the central Israeli town’s
residents. As Sue Surkes wrote under the headline Smurfette too Sexy for ultra-Orthodox City in The Times of Israel,
Bnei Brak, a mostly ultra-Orthodox city, has
an ordinance that prevents the hanging of posters of women that “might
incite the feelings of the city’s residents.”
Other entertainment icons to have been erased
from advertising posters in Bnei Brak and Jerusalem — which also has a
large ultra-Orthodox community — include Jennifer Lawrence, star of the Hunger Games, and Tinkerbell, the cartoon character from Peter Pan.
Smurfette, brought to life in the movie with
the voice of pop star Demi Lovato, plays a leading role in the new film.
Along with Brainy, Clumsy and Hefty, she gets to race through the
Forbidden Forest to discover what is said to be the biggest secret in
Smurf history. The Hebrew word for Smurfs is Dardasim.
A
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One of the many benefits of spending a month in Israel is visiting some unexpected places that aren't on the standard tourist lists. Last week we visited the Ben & Jerry's ice cream factory and store in Be'er Tuvia, about an hour's drive from Jerusalem on the road to Ashdod and Ashkelon.
Though the grandkids were disappointed that they couldn't see the ice cream being made because the factory was closed during Pesach, they didn't mind too much because the factory store was open and serving lots of the delicious flavors and toppings.
The outdoor seating area next to the store provided a place to eat the ice cream and a life-size Ben & Jerry's plastic cow to ride on.
It didn't take us long to find a short video of a previous factory tour on YouTube, so here it is. The next time you're in Israel, you might want to include this stop on your itinerary. Enjoy! A
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The full name of the day commemorating the victims of the Holocaust is “Yom Hashoah Ve-Hagevurah”—
in Hebrew literally translated as the "Day of (remembrance of)
the Holocaust and the Heroism."
It is
marked on the 27th day in the month
of Nisan — a week after the end of
the Passover holiday and a week before Yom Hazikaron (Memorial Day for Israel's fallen soldiers). It marks the anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.
Througout Israel, a siren will wail for two minutes starting at 11 am. All activity comes to a halt. Traffic slows and comes to a complete stop on all streets and highways. Shoppers freeze in their place wherever they are.
The video below shows Israel pausing last year on Yom Hashoah. A
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With Holocaust Remembrance Day starting at sunset today and continuing through tomorrow, we're holding off on the humor until Wednesday, so we can post videos appropriate for the commemoration.
"Zog nit keyn mol" (Never Say; Yiddish: זאָג ניט קיין מאָל) or "Partizaner lid" (Partisan Song) is a Yiddish song considered one of the chief anthems of the Holocaust survivors and is sung in memorial services around the world.
The lyrics of the song were written in 1943 by Hirsh Glick, a young Jewish inmate of the Vilna Ghetto.
The title means "Never Say", and derives from the first line of the
song. Glick's lyrics were set to music from a pre-war Soviet song
The annual March of the Living program brings thousands of young people
from around the world each year on Holocaust Remembrance Day to
Auschwitz-Birkenau to honour the memory of the victims of the Holocaust
and to pledge to build a better world for all humanity.
In 2013, singer Dudu Fisher and the March of the Living Choir sang The Partisan Song on Holocaust Remembrance Day.
A
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Music
is an important part of our mix at Jewish Humor Central. In our
sporadic series bringing new musical groups to your attention, we're
introducing you to the Ramatayim Men's Choir of Jerusalem.
Late
in 1995, four enthusiasts gathered in the Ramot suburb of Jerusalem, to
sing choral music they recalled from synagogue services in their youth.
Since then the choir has grown to 40 choristers, native Israelis and
Olim from 4 continents who share a love of the great tradition of Jewish
liturgical music and of singing together.
The
choir appears regularly at concert halls and synagogues throughout
Israel. Their list of approximately 250 performances includes
appearances alongside some of the finest cantors in the world as well as
artists in different genres. They have appeared in concert with the
Israel Symphionette Orchestra 'eers Sheva, on national television and
radio and have also performed at the residence of the President of
Israel.
The
choir's repertoire consists mainly of Jewish liturgical music and
includes Chassidic and Israeli songs, pop, opera and folk music. All
activities are performed on a voluntary basis. They perform regularly in
support of various Israeli and Jewish charitable and social causes. A
distinctive feature of the choir's activity is their active
collaboration with ensembles of the same genre, inaugurating and hosting
joint concerts in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv.
The choir's name derives from Ramatayim-Tzofim, in the hill country
of Ephraim, birthplace of Samuel the Prophet, mentioned in the Book of
Samuel 1 (1:1) and associated with the suburb Ramot, Jerusalem.
In this video they sing a medley of songs about Jerusalem at the International Rabbinical Conference in 2014.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom !
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"Slowly I turned" (The Niagara Falls joke) has been made famous by Abbott and Costello, The Three Stooges, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers, Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca, and countless other comedy teams. It's such a renowned comedy classic that it has its own listing in Wikipedia that reveals its historical origins. The listing states that it was not created by any of the above comedy teams, but started out as a popular vaudeville sketch that has also been performed in cinema and on television. Comedians Harry Steppe, Joey Faye, and Samuel Goldman each laid claim to this routine, also referred to as "The Stranger with a Kind Face" by clowns and clowning aficionados, "Niagara Falls" by fans of The Three Stooges and Abbott and Costello, "Martha" by fans of I Love Lucy, "Pokomoko", and "Bagel Street". Our favorite version is the one performed by Moses Harry Horwitz, Louis Feinberg, and Jerome Horwitz. You never heard of them? Sure you did, but you know them as Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard, or the Three Stooges. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Israeli-born and Texas-raised comedian Avi Liberman has been bringing groups of stand-up comics to Israel for years to support the Koby Mandell Foundation. And we've featured some of them here on Jewish Humor Central. But Avi has some great stand-up routines that he performs on his own, and whenever we find one, we try to share it with you. Here's a recent performance by Avi at the City Winery in New York City where he presents a hilarious description of all the Jewish Holidays to a mixed Jewish audience comprising all levels of observance. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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In Ramat-Gan's zoo safari, near Tel Aviv, even the gorillas keep kosher for Passover.
The Zoological Center Tel Aviv-Ramat Gan is the largest collection
of wildlife in human care in the Middle East. The 250-acre site
consists of both a drive-through African safari area and a modern
outdoor zoo. Gorillas
and other animals are usually given bread to check their vitality, but
since the zookeepers and handlers cannot touch any leavened products
during the week-long holiday that marks the biblical Jewish exodus from
Egypt, they are also fed matzo, the unleavened cracker Jews eat to
remember that in their rush to flee slavery, the ancient Israelites'
bread did not have time to rise. Is it a healthy treat for the gorillas? Calling it "environmental enrichment, Jewish style," one zookeeper says that they may develop a slight case of constipation but they overcome that after awhile.
We're taking Monday and Tuesday off for the last two days of Passover, so there's no Joke to Start the Week tomorrow. We'll be back on Wednesday with our usual Jewish humor mix.
Enjoy, and Chag sameach! A
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Yoni and Nina Tokayer are a married musical duo with a little baby girl. They're both involved
in music and education, and live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel.
For the past half a year, they have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met. The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina. In this video, they sing the beginning of Lecha Dodi, one of the traditional parts of the Kabbalat Shabbat service. The melody, however, is not traditional. It's set to the music of John Legend's hit All of Me, a song that has an incredible more than a billion hits on YouTube, so you must have heard it somewhere before. Enjoy! A
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We lost one of the great Jewish comedians last week with the passing of Don Rickles at age 90.
Although he became well known as an insult comic,
his pudgy, balding appearance and pugnacious style led to few leading
roles in film or television.
His prominent film roles included Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) and Kelly's Heroes (1970), and beginning in 1976 he enjoyed a two-year run starring in the sitcom C.P.O. Sharkey.
He received widespread exposure as a popular guest on numerous talk shows, including The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson and Late Show with David Letterman, and later voiced Mr. Potato Head in the Toy Story films. He won a Primetime Emmy Award for the 2007 documentary Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project.
Today we're remembering Don Rickles as a "roaster" of celebrities on The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, an NBC television special show hosted by entertainer Dean Martin from 1974 to 1984. For a series of 54 specials and shows, Martin would periodically "roast" a celebrity. These roasts were patterned after the roasts held at the New York Friars' Club.
The format would have the celebrity guest seated on a dais, and one by
one the guest of honor was affectionately chided or insulted about his
career by his fellow celebrity friends.
In 1978, 39 years ago, Rickles turned in a hilarious performance on the Dean Martin Celebrity Hour roasting Frank Sinatra. The guests included Ronald Reagan, Red Buttons, Flip Wilson, Redd Foxx, George Burns, Milton Berle, Jonathan Winters, Peter Falk, Ruth Buzzi, and Orson Welles.
Those were the days before political correctness set in. As one YouTube commenter said, it was humor from an era when you could rib other cultures and everybody was
fine with it, because people had enough self esteem to have fun.
Enjoy!
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Today is Monday, but not just an ordinary Monday. Tonight we sit down to the seder in Israel. In the diaspora, it's the first of two sedarim. But planning for the seder isn't an excuse to skip the Joke to Start the Week. So today's joke has a Pesach theme. It's actually two related jokes. We hope you don't groan too much and maybe even laugh or smile a little.
We won't be blogging tomorrow and Wednesday, the first two days of Pesach. We'll be back on Throwback Thursday with more Jewish humor.
Enjoy, and have a kosher and happy Passover!
A
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The Maccabeats, originally formed in 2007 as Yeshiva University’s student vocal group, have entertained and inspired
hundreds of audiences worldwide, from Alabama to (New) Zealand
and everywhere in between. Until now, they have been using nothing more than the unadulterated
human voice, a clean-cut presentation, and a little Jewish humor, With the release of their latest music video for Passover, the Maccabeats have added a new twist to a cappella. They still don't use musical instruments, but include sound effects from the seder table -- wine glasses filled to different levels to produce different notes, a Haggadah with pages ruffled to make sounds, a bowl of karpas to make a dipping sound, and matza to provide a crunch. Pesach is almost upon us. Tomorrow's Joke to Start the Week will have a Pesach theme, and then we'll be taking the first two days of Passover off to spend time with our family in Jerusalem, returning with more Jewish Humor on Thursday. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We've gotten into the routine of welcoming Shabbat in our Friday posts with a song from the Shabbat liturgy -- usually Shalom Aleichem, Lecha Dodi, or Adon Olam. We find versions sung in locations all around the world, and so far we have posted 24 of Adon Olam, the concluding hymn of most Shabbat services.
Today we're sharing a 25th version. This rendition is by Cantor Shai Abramson and the IDF Rabbinical Choir. Israel is the only country we know of that has a chief cantor in its armed forces. The soldiers look like they are enjoying this Shabbat and the singing that goes with it. Let's join them. Shabbat shalom. A
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It's another Throwback Thursday, and today we're going back 54 years to October 1963. Groucho Marx was the mystery guest on What's My Line, and as usual, he stole the show with his unique comic style. As we watched the episode we found it hard to believe that panelists Bennet Cerf, Dorothy Kilgallen, Tony Randall, and Arlene Francis didn't recognize his voice or smell the smoke from his ubiquitous cigar. But Groucho managed to get a laugh out of every question he was asked, and even managed to insert the word Passover into the discussion, which is why we chose to run the episode this week. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE
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Every year at Passover time we get to see a lot of Pesach-themed parodies of popular songs, movies, and shows. Some are very good and some are so-so. We try to bring you the best of the crop. Today we encountered an impressive parody of the Disney animated film Moana. It's by a very talented crew too numerous to credit in these few lines, so we're listing them all along with the lyrics in the space just below the video.
The song is called Why Seders are Slow and it's a direct take-off on the Moana How Far I'll Go which was written and produced by Lin-Manuel Miranda. The Moana song was nominated for Best Original Song at the 89th Academy Awards and Best Original Song at the 74th Golden Globe Awards. We're including the video below after the lyrics and credits for Why Seders are Slow. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE
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IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO. CREDITS W&C Pictures Presents: “Why Seders are Slow” Parody of “How Far I'll Go” from Moana Original Music by: Lin-Manuel Miranda
Produced by: Elyse Heise Directed by: Christian D Chapra Director of Photography: Green Leaf Multimedia Editor: Green Leaf Multimedia Audio Production: Ean White, Incendiary Arts LLC Storyboard Ideas: Stacey Wein Parody Lyrics: Elyse Heise Vocalists: Rachel Baril and Ashley Harmon Filmed on Location at: The home of Greg Manousos and Amy Rosenberg
Starring: Ashley Harmon Rachel Baril Elizabeth Schwartz Jordan Solomon Rimon R. Addie, Ruby and Sadie Wein Juliana and Jack Eunice Goldberg Jane Leikin Greg Manousos Elyse Heise and Max
Tech Crew: Tyler Coveney Nichole Brennan Steven Heise
Props and costumes: Rabbis Rachel Gurevitz and Suri Krieger The Wein Family Elyse Heise The Solomon Family Amy Rosenberg and Greg Manousos
Special Thanks to: Hali the Wonder Pup
LYRICS I've been staring at this ragged Haggadah For what feels like forever Just trying to get by I wish I could understand this Hebrew Or what they mean by dayenu Or 'Baruch' or 'Adonai'
Every Kiddish made Every Karpas ate I must masquerade That I can translate That the words I know How the melodies go And I'm so hungry....
See the Jews and they're longing to be free In Mitzrayim Their cries of need Their hands they bleed The Maror on my plate is the key It reminds me 400 years With a strong arm, God ended all these bitter tears
I know what they mean by Afikomen Gonna find the Afikomen Dessert is going to be mine Here is where they hid the Afikomen See it says Afikomen On this fancy napkin design
I can read with vowels I can sing the tune I can keep the pace Hope they feed us soon On this Seder night Under this full moon Let's just say Motzi
See the plate as it's passed out to me It's exciting Unleavened dough Baked on the go And it seems like it's calling out to me Cause I'm starving Two more Brochot
Another glass of wine Yes I'll drink that wine
See the part where God splits the sea Now I know Mayim The sea of reeds We praise those deeds If next year, we will be, living free Yerushalem Why Seders are slow I'll never know!!
Aish.com, the leading
Jewish content website, logging over a million monthly user sessions with
380,000 unique email subscribers.has done it again, releasing a new video for
Passover called I'm in Love with the Taste of You. The video is a mashup
of pop songs with new lyrics focusing on matzah as the taste of freedom.
It's the first of a
series of videos that we'll be sharing with you up to and throughout the Pesach
holiday. We're including the lyrics and credits just below the video.
Enjoy!
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Music video Written & Produced by Aish.com Directed by Shoot East Cover Track by Ido Zeleznik and Michael HarPaz Vocals by Michael HarPaz With thanks to Pharrell, Ed Sheeran and The Chainsmokers Lyrics Yearn to be free Roots long ago In captivity Let my people go Your first name is Free Last name is Dom Ten plagues you have seen, a nation is born Feel soul power It's in every human being Time for liberation Sea split your wings
Freedom! [x4]
The struggle for freedom Jews celebrate on Passover Is seen throughout history Fighting persecution so we can live as Jews want From Moses to Natan Sharansky
Suffragettes, Rosa Parks, tank man in Tiananmen Square, Got the purple finger in Iraq now Ring the bell, pull the Berlin Wall down And then we start to dream, like Malala
God, you know I want your love Your matzah’s handmade for somebody like me Come on now, follow God’s lead Pharaoh is finished, now you’re free Matzah, the bread of freedom Put on your shoulder, go to the desert quickly Come on now, follow God’s lead Come, come on now, follow God’s lead
I'm in love with the taste of you Knead and roll, eighteen minutes to Although my stomach is falling too I'm in love with my matzah
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I'm in love with my matzah
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I I'm in love with my matzah
Hey, the struggle for freedom is all about you Enslaved and beaten, that's an issue You have a choice Hey, challenges can make us stronger Try and hold on a little longer and then…
We have thanks in our heart Bitterness makes you count your stars All our pain, recalled Throughout Jewish history You guided us far And no-ow-ow-ow-ow, we’re free And no-ow-ow-ow-ow, we’re free
So God pull us ever closer Let us celebrate Passover As we tell our story over Bite that matzah on your shoulder Jewish People getting older So many miracles to share Faith and family coming over Have a meaningful Passover
