Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Despacito (English: "Slowly") is a single by Puerto Rican singer Luis Fonsi featuring Puerto Rican rapper Daddy Yankee from the former's upcoming studio album.
On January 12, 2017, Universal Music Latin released "Despacito" and its music video, which shows both artists performing the song in La Perla neighborhood of Old San Juan, Puerto Rico and the local bar La Factoría. The song's music video is the first video to reach over three billion views on YouTube.
The Maccabeats, originally formed in 2007 as Yeshiva University’s student vocal group, have just released a Hebrew/English version of Despacito.
The original Spanish version (shown in this link with Hebrew subtitles) is a reggaeton-pop song composed in common time
with lyrics about having a sexual relationship, performed in a smooth
and romantic way. It became the first song
primarily in Spanish to top the Billboard Hot 100 since Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)
in 1996.
The words of the Maccabeats English/Hebrew version, originally recorded by Amram Adar and Itzik Shamli, are not a translation of the Spanish lyrics, but advice about learning to savor every moment slowly and trust in God when you feel like you're being pulled in all directions.
The complete English/Hebrew lyrics appear just below the video. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Lyrics
Like being pulled in all directions Tryin’ to be thankful for my blessings, yeah It’s like I never learn my lesson, yeah I need a sunrise on my darkest day Quit this feeling I just can’t shake Learn how to savor every moment slowly, slowly
אם אתה מרגיש שאתה כל הזמן רוצה, להספיק הכל פשוט תזכור, כי הכל כתוב מלמעלה אז תנסה, סמוך על הבורא הכל יכול,
שוב,יש תנועה בדרך אל העבודה, אתה רץ לא לאחר אל הפגישה, ואולי מרגיש שכל יום כמו מרוץ פה, גם,גם אם אתה קצת מתוסכל ונראה לך שזהו המזל, בטח בשם ותאמין בו
דספסיטו קח את החיים שלך בדספסיטו, כל דבר בזמן שלו יבוא קרידו, וכל עכבה זה טוב רק תאמין בו,
לאן כולם רצים לאן? תגידו? תרגל מהגז תורידו, החיים יפים תביטו... לאן כולם ממהרים לאן תגידו תרגל מהגז תורידו החיים יפים תביטו
דספסיטו, קח את החיים שלך, בדספסיטו, כל דבר בזמן שלו יבוא קרידו, וכל עכבה זה טוב רק תאמין בו,
ואז פתאום תראה שלעבוד, בלי לחצים אפשר ללמוד, הכל יהיה פשוט מאוד, אחרת איך אפשר לשרוד, את החיים שלך תתחיל לקחת בקלות, זמן זה כסף אך בלי אושר אין לו משמעות תלות, עצור לחשוב לפני שתאחר את הרכבת, הילדים גודלים ומה נישאר רק המזכרת, תגיד להם איזו מילה טובה ותחבק, יש רגעים שבשבילם תתנתק, ניסית ניסית, מה שלא עשית, את הכל רצית, בנית בנית, מה שלא ראית, איך שהזמן עובר כאן ולא יחזור שוב לאחור לחייך.
אם אתה מרגיש שאתה כל הזמן רוצה, להספיק הכל פשוט תזכור...
דספסיטו, קח את החיים שלך בדספסיטו, כל דבר בזמן שלו יבוא קרידו, וכל עכבה זה טוב רק תאמין בו, דספסיטו
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
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wonderful ! Almost better than the original !
ReplyDeleteGot me dancing.
ReplyDeletewhat a wonderful way to start the day !! loved the song and presentation
ReplyDelete