Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's another
Monday and it's time for another Joke to Start the Week.
Today we're
taking another deep dive into the Internet and coming up with an oldie but
goodie retold by Jerri Kane, a resident of the Los Angeles Jewish Home.
Here's the setup:
A whole bunch of Jewish women were going to take a trip by bus to Las Vegas. And one of the women who was interested in joining the group brought along her pet gorilla. And then...
Enjoy!
A
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Lee Tully was a Chicago born performer who found fame in the Catskills,
the Jewish Alps in the late 1940s. As he wrote so evocatively in his
record album liner notes “It was in this scene of minks, wolves, canasta, chopped
liver, borscht, and sour cream that he discovered heartburn which led
him to write his first record hit “Essen” which became the number one
Yiddish seller in the country.”
Tully
began doing "kosher comedy." Yiddish Eli Basse songs such as "Oomglick
Blues" and "Litvak and Galitz" turn up on his first album, "Seltzer on
the Rocks." He expanded for more mainstream comedy for his two-record
contract with Jubilee, which coincided with his expanded touring all
over America.
Here's a video of Lee Tully performing on The Hollywood Palace hosted by Sammy Davis Jr. in 1967. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Josh Warshawsky has shared his original melodies with Jewish
communities throughout the country. His first
full-length album, “Mah Rabu”, features such hits as “Mah Rabu”, “Kol B’Ramah”, and
“V’ahavta”, which can be heard at Ramah and URJ summer camps as well as
at NFTY and USY conventions across the country.
Josh is currently in Rabbinical school at the Ziegler school of
Rabbinic Studies in Los Angeles, and he has spent the last two years as
the artist-in-residence and music specialist at Temple Beth Am and
Pressman Academy in Los Angeles, CA, where he brought new musical energy
to children and adults of all ages. He has transformed his home into a
much-needed space in the LA area for Jews in their 20s and 30s of all
denominations to celebrate Shabbat and holidays together. He is a
graduate of Columbia University and the Jewish Theological Seminary with
BAs in Religion, Talmud and Rabbinics.
Josh is currently on the faculty of Songleader Boot Camp, where he
helped to create a special track to bring together Ramah songleaders for
the first time. Over the last six years, Josh has worked as the
musician in residence at USY’s international convention, leading ruach,
song sessions, and writing original music for the last two conventions.
This summer, he will be embarking on his second Jewish Summer Camp
Tour, spending a week to a month in residency teaching and sharing music
and Tefillah at Ramah Ojai, Ramah Wisconsin, Ramah Nyack, Ramah in
Northern California, and Ramah in the Berkshires.
Anim Zemirot, sung during the Shabbat service, is given a new melody in this excerpt from Josh's album Chaverai Nevarech. Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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אַנְעִים זְמִירוֹת וְשִׁירִים אֶאֱרֹג כִּי אֵלֶיךָ נַפְשִׁי תַּעֲרֹג נַפְשִׁי חַמְּדָה בְּצֵל יָדֶךָ לָדַעַת כָּל רָז סוֹדֶךָ
ANIM ZEMIROT V’SHIRIM E’EROG KI EILECHA NAFSHI TA’AROG NAFSHI CHAMDA B’TZEL YADECHA LADA’AT KOL RAZ SODECHA
I will pleasantly sing melodies and weave songs, For my soul longs for you. My soul finds comfort in the shade of your palm, Discovering your endless depths and mysteries -Rav Yehudah Hachassid
In the 1987 film The Princess Bride, Billy Crystal wore so much makeup that it was hard to recognize him in his role as Miracle Max, the crooked old healer living in the woods with his wife, played by Carol Kane.
And just listening to his voice made us think that the role was being played by Mel Brooks as the 2000 year old man. But it really is Billy Crystal as Miracle Max. As Eric Grundhauser wrote in a 2015 article,
Over
just three days of shooting in the tightly packed set of Max’s hovel,
Crystal’s performance managed to nearly shut down the production. Given
pretty much free reign by Reiner, Crystal became a show-stopping gag
factory. In his book, Elwes remembers, “For three days straight and ten
hours a day, Billy improvised thirteenth-century period jokes, never
saying the same thing or the same line twice.”
Most of the manic energy and “medieval
stand-up,” like the classic MLT sandwich line (mutton, lettuce, tomato),
made it to the screen, but Crystal came up with some racier lines that
had to be cut. One deleted scene includes the line “Never rush me. I had a very rough night. I found my oldest nephew with a sheep.”
In another deleted scene, Crystal can be
seen mugging for the camera, sparking hooting laughter from the cast and
crew out of view. This actually became a pretty big problem as
reactions to Crystal’s ad-libs kept ruining the sound during takes.
Reiner himself eventually had to leave the set and watch the takes from a
monitor because he couldn’t keep from bursting into loud laughter. Even
more troublesome was Elwes, who had to lay stock still on a table in
Max’s hovel, hovering near death. Crystal was so funny that Elwes
couldn’t contain himself either, and had to be replaced with a dummy in
some shots.
Only Patinkin was able to keep a straight
face for the shots, but it cost him. As he says in Elwes’ book, he was
clenching so hard to keep from laughing that he actually bruised a rib.
It should also be noted
that Max’s scenes would not have been half as memorable and funny were
it not for actress Carol Kane who played opposite Crystal as his
shrieking harridan of a wife, Valerie. Nearly unrecognizable under her
prosthetics, Kane held her own against Crystal’s onslaught. In a movie
brimming with catchphrases (“as you wish,” “you killed my father,
prepare to die,” etc.), the real miracle behind Miracle Max is that he
is remembered at all.
Enjoy!
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Rick Rosenthal spent much of December sitting children on his knee, asking
whether they’ve been good and listening to their Christmas wishes.
On Saturdays, he may have slept overnight in the building. And he only accepts payment after nightfall.
Rick Rosenthal is a Orthodox Jewish Santa from Atlanta. As reported in Vos Iz Neias,
Rosenthal began playing Santa at age 16 as a gag. He would dress up
and hang mini bagels on his non-Jewish friends’ Christmas trees. He
occasionally played the part in subsequent decades.
But he became a full-time Santa seven years ago when two things
happened: First, his parents passed away within two weeks of each other,
which led him to grow out his beard, a custom of the traditional Jewish
30-day mourning period after a parent’s death.
Soon after he was
shopping at Home Depot when he noticed that a little boy was staring at
him transfixed, sure that he was Santa Claus.
“I knew what he was thinking and I said, ‘Don’t tell anyone you saw
Santa buying tools for the elves at Home Depot,’” he said. “He was
frozen dead over. I walked into the store, I looked back at the first
row and he’s still staring at me.”
Since then, Rosenthal has become Santa year-round. He and his wife, Tracy, run a Santa school, Northern Lights Santa Academy,
that hosts three-day weekend seminars on how to be Santa. The school
covers everything from fashioning a good costume to making sure you have
legal and insurance protection in place. But the seminars also promise
fun times, like a Christmas movie screening and a photo op with a live
reindeer.
The couple also runs the National Santa Agency, which books a network
of 100 Santas, Mrs. Clauses and elves for private parties and events.
Rosenthal is a member of the International Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas.
Enjoy!
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Khayelitsha United Mambazo is an Isicathamiya choir from Indlovini in
Khayelitsha. (Isicathamiya is a form of Traditional African Male Vocal
Music.) The 11-piece group aim to follow in the footsteps of their
heroes and friends, Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
The choir spent many
years performing at the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town, entertaining
visitors from across the world. Their rich and powerful performance is
built on a varied repertoire consisting of famous traditional songs, as
well as a large selection of original songs mostly themed around social
issues. After their performances they work with boys in their
neighborhood, acting as mentors and role models to involve the boys in
constructive activities.
In this video they sing three Hebrew songs: Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Mikimi, and Ki Va Moed.
Enjoy! A
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As we are surrounded today by Christmas songs playing on the radio and TV, and with the music finding its way into elevators, supermarkets, and shopping malls, it's interesting to note that most of the popular songs were written by Jewish songwriters.
Approximately half of the 30 best-selling Christmas songs by ASCAP members in 2015 were written by Jewish composers. Johnny Marks has three top Christmas songs, the most for any writer—"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", and "A Holly Jolly Christmas". By far the most recorded Christmas song is "White Christmas" by Irving Berlin (born Israel Isidore Beilin in Russia)—who also wrote "Happy Holiday"—with well over 500 versions in dozens of languages.
Others include:
"Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" by Sammy Cahn (born Cohen) and Jule Styne (who also wrote "The Christmas Waltz" together)
"Winter Wonderland" (composer Felix Bernard was born Felix William Bernhardt)
"The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)" by Robert Wells (born Levinson) and Mel Tormé
"Sleigh Ride" (lyricist Mitchell Parish was born Michael Hyman Pashelinsky in Lithuania)
"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (composer George Wyle was born Bernard Weissman)
"Silver Bells" by Jay Livingston (born Jacob Levinson) and Ray Evans
"(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays" by Bob Allen (born Robert Allen Deitcher) and Al Stillman (born Albert Silverman)
"I'll Be Home for Christmas" by Walter Kent (born Walter Kauffman) and Buck Ram (born Samuel).
"Santa Baby" by Joan Ellen Javits (Zeeman), niece of Senator Jacob Javits, and Philip Springer.
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" by Frank Loesser
An offbeat, irreverent documentary called Dreaming of a Jewish Christmas tells the story of a group of
Jewish songwriters, including Irving Berlin, Mel Tormé, Jay Livingston,
Ray Evans, Gloria Shayne Baker and Johnny Marks, who wrote the
soundtrack to the world's most musical holiday. It's an amazing look at
the 20th century North American immigrant experience and the
extraordinary outburst of musical energy from the children of those
immigrants.
This new generation rejected their parents' European past
and instead embraced Tin Pan Alley, Broadway and, finally, Hollywood.
The outsiders began writing the soundtrack to the insiders' American
dreams and in doing so, wrote themselves into history.
Telling this story through words and song, Dreaming of a Jewish
Christmas features rarely-seen archival footage, musical performances
and interviews with contemporary writers and performers, as well as
connoisseurs of North American popular music.
The 52 minute documentary is available on iTunes for $2.95. You can see it free of charge if you are a member of a public library that offers free streaming of Kanopy films. Enjoy! A
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Gad Elmaleh is a Jewish Moroccan-born French stand-up comedian and actor. He has starred in several feature films, including Coco, Priceless, La Doublure and Midnight in Paris.
He has been voted the funniest person in France and was named knight of the Order of Arts and Letters by the Minister of Culture. He was also named knight of the National Order of Quebec.
He is often referred to as the "Seinfeld of France". In 2015, Elmaleh did a national comedy tour across the United States. His new comedy special American Dream is now available on Netflix. In this video clip from the Conan late night show, Gad is learning English and having trouble coping with the fact that he
will never know how old a toddler is and how much is actually in a
bunch.
Enjoy!
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The Ruach Singers are a Toronto-based
8-voice professional Jewish a cappella group specializing in creating
innovative liturgical and Hebrew vocal music.
They bring a fresh
approach to the traditional sound, taking style cues from contemporary
jazz/pop a cappella and modern world music.
Their music can be found at
Shabbat services, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, Weddings and Music Festivals
Worldwide.
In this rendition of Adon Olam, the Ruach Singers are joined by Cantor Eric Moses, Cantor Gideon Zelermyer, and Amanda Levine. This performance was recorded at the CROSSROADS 2018 concert at Beth Sholom Synagogue in Toronto on May 29, 2018.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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When it came to off-beat bizarre comedy, Andy Kaufman was king. His comedy was always an enigma from the time that he first appeared on the stage. He disdained telling jokes and engaging in comedy as it was
traditionally understood, calling himself a performance artist.
In a rare introspective interview,
he said "I am not a comic, I have never told a joke. ... The comedian's promise
is that he will go out there and make you laugh with him... My only
promise is that I will try to entertain you as best I can." And entertain he did. We remember him most for his debut performance on Saturday Night Live with the Mighty Mouse song (Here I come to save the day...), his Elvis Presley impersonations, and his role as Latka, the unspecified European man on the Taxi sitcom. On this Throwback Thursday we're going back 42 years to 1986, when Andy sauntered onto the stage on Van Dyke and Company sporting a cowboy hat and led four unsuspecting audience volunteers in a hilarious pantomime of Old Macdonald Had a Farm. Enjoy! A
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The hit comedy series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is now in its second season, with all 10 episodes now running on Amazon Prime Video as of December 5. Two hilarious episodes in the middle of the series take the Maisel and Weissman families to the Catskills for a two month stay. The lead and supporting actors are all marvelous, but a surprise standout is Alex Borstein, who won an Emmy for her role of Susie Meyerson, the tough-talking manager of budding comedian Miriam (Midge) Maisel. Borstein is not a newcomer to TV comedy. Her credits include Gilmore Girls, MadTV, Getting On, and Family Guy. In interviews, she talks about growing up as the daughter of a Holocaust survivor, her life with two children in Barcelona, and her comfort in playing a role as part of an extended Jewish family. Here is a video from IMDB reviewing her career so far. Enjoy!
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We've been following the career and shtick of comedian Modi Rosenfeld ever since we started Jewish Humor Central in 2009. Whether it's his standup comedy or clever skits and short films, he always leaves us laughing. In June Modi was honored by the city of New York with a proclamation naming June 26, 2018 as Mordechai (Modi) Rosenfeld Day. As Sandy Eller wrote in Vos Iz Neias,
Amid a strictly kosher barbeque featuring hamburgers, vegetarian
burgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, salads, pickles, wine, beer,
watermelon, brownies and blue and white cookies in tribute to the State
of Israel, guests gathered on the mayoral residence’s rear lawn,
enjoying a perfect summer evening with magnificent river views.
Mayor de Blasio and his wife Chirlaine McCray continued their annual
tradition of sprinkling their speeches with a smattering of Hebrew words
and discussing “tikun olam,” with the mayor speaking out, as in
previous years, against BDS while McCray discussed mental health
issues. Describing Israel as New York City’s “sixth borough,” de Blasio
introduced Israeli Consul General Dani Dayan, who spoke briefly, and
also presented a proclamation to the evening’s honoree, actor, comedian
and cantor Mordechai Rosenfeld, better known by his stage name, Modi.
In accepting the proclamation, Modi didn't disappoint the guests. He delivered a short, funny commentary which you can watch below. Enjoy! A
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It's another
Monday and it's time for another Joke to Start the Week.
Today we're
taking another deep dive into the Internet and coming up with an oldie but
goodie retold by Ellis Simon, a resident of the Los Angeles Jewish Home.
Here's the setup:
Two young boys were spending their night at their grandma's house. So
that night they got ready for bed and started to say their prayers. And then...
Enjoy!
A
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The Yiddish folk love song Tumbalalaika
originated in Eastern Europe in the 19th century, but its exact origin
is hard to pinpoint.
That hasn't prevented it from being sung and played
over and over, not only in places where Yiddish songs are sung, but
just about everywhere in the world, in vocal and instrumental versions,
in cabarets and in the movies.
Just as we have followed the songs Hava Nagila, Adon Olam, Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, and Abanibi
as they took different forms as interpreted by a wide variety of
singers, musicians, and dancers, we're continuing the series today that
we started back in 2012, bringing you many interpretations of this
universal courting and love
song.
This rendition of Tumbalalaika was recorded by Vietnamese singer Nguyen Nhung.
Enjoy!
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
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Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...