Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's Monday again, and it's time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're dipping deep into the archives of Old Jews Telling Jokes to come up with a very short and very old family-friendly joke told by skin care business owner Charlotte Bornstein. Here's the setup: A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says to the secretary "I need to see the psychiatrist immediately."
And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We've become big fans of Ashley Blaker, the British Orthodox comedian who's been getting rave reviews on his stand-up tours and requests for more video clips from our readers.
He has previously performed two sell-out tours of the UK (Ungefiltered
and Meshuga Frum)to great acclaim and toured his comedy across Israel
and South Africa. He started performing in USA with a sold-out showat
New York's Gramercy Theatre.
Ashley will be taking his hilarious new show ASHLEY BLAKER: STRICTLY UNORTHODOX
(the first ever stand-up show about life as a charedi (strictly
orthodox Jew) to the United States this Spring, making his Off Broadway
debut May 27 - June 28 in the Jerry Orbach Theater at the Theater Center, 1627 Broadway.
Here's a clip from his Meshuga Frum show where he explains his ultra-orthodox interactions with beloved pop songs.
Enjoy!
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Nishma is a wedding and events band based in Chicago. They've recently expanded their musical horizons to include a cappella videos that they're posting on the Internet. We've already posted 16 versions of Lecha Dodi, one of the most popular songs in the Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat service. But there's always room for a new one. Nishma's version is set to the song Under the Sea from the Disney movie The Little Mermaid.
Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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When Your Show of Shows was canceled in 1954, Sid Caesar started a new show called Caesar's Hour. The popular series of sketches called The Hickenloopers, about a bickering married couple, was recast as The Commuters, with Nanette Fabray playing Sid's wife as Imogene Coca had played in The Hickenloopers.
In this 1954 episode of The Commuters,
"The White Rug," the rug arrives from India after a 6-month wait. It starts to rain, and as they await the arrival of their friends they realize that the white rug may not have been such a good idea. Sid's sidekicks Carl
Reiner and Howard Morris
are also in the sketch.
Enjoy!
A
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Most of the stand-up Jewish comedians whose video clips we've been sharing have been from the United States. But the USA isn't the only country where you'll find this form of entertainment. Today we're profiling Joe Bor, a standup comedian who lives in the UK. Joe is an observational character comedian, actor and writer. He has done TV warm up for The Graham Norton Show, Mock The Week, Alan Carr Chatty Man and 8 Out of 10 Cats.
He regularly performs at top comedy clubs around England
including The Comedy Store, Jongleurs, The 99 Club and The Glee Club. Joe has also appeared in advertisements for a range of products including Cobra Beer, Magners, Kia, Argos, The Co-op and Expedia.
Here is a video of Joe Bor performing at The Glee Club in Birmingham, England. His subject is the texts he gets from his mother (mum).
Enjoy!
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In northeastern India, a small ethnic group claims to be one of the lost
tribes of Israel.
The fervor of the Kuki people has persuaded the
Chief Rabbi of Israel to approve their immigration to the Promised Land. Kuki men are traditionally fighters, so once in Israel most of them
become soldiers, while their wives try to adjust to their new lives in
the settlements.
Reporters from France 24 TV traveled to the valleys of West
Bengal, where India meets Bangladesh and Burma, home of the mysterious
Kuki tribe. These Asian Jews say they were forced into exile in this
remote valley almost 27 centuries ago. Today, they practice an archaic
Judaism and claim to be one of the lost tribes of Israel referred to in
the Old Testament, a little like the Ethiopian Falashas. Tensions
have grown in recent years with the Indian and Burmese governments and
for the Kuki people, the lure of a better future in Israel is stronger
than ever. In recent years, some of them have been able to emigrate to
Israel and make Aliyah.
The men, who are traditionally fierce fighters,
often join the Israeli army, while their families find a new home in the
occupied West Bank settlements. France 24 TV correspondents went to
meet some of those who have left everything behind for a new life in the
Promised Land.
Here is a video report of what they found.
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This week marked two annual milestones - Israel Independence Day and U.S. Income Tax day. Can you believe that we found a joke to start the week that brings these two events together?
Here's the setup: Sheldon owns a small deli in suburban New Jersey. One day he gets a call from the IRS. He had just filed a tax return and claimed a net profit of $200,000. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We've been posting clips of Jewish comedians going back to the days of vaudeville and burlesque, from Jack Benny to Alan King, and including dozens more. We've posted many of them since we started Jewish Humor Central nine years ago. Next winter we'll be teaching a course at Florida Atlantic University on these old timers. But a new generation of Jewish comedians is on the rise. And they're very funny. It's a rare one who can get through a routine without off-color words or phrases, but some are trying very hard to let the jokes and situations carry the day without resorting to outright foul language. Some of the new comedians are only new to us, since we haven't been watching all the late night TV shows and comedy specials where they make their first appearances. But as we discover them, we'll share some of their video clips with you. We just ran into the comedy of Orny Adams (Adam Jason Orenstein), who has been performing on late night TV shows and other comedy venues. We expect to see him in Montreal this summer when we attend the Just For Laughs festival, where he will be featured in The Ethnic Show.
Orny Adams delivers a powerful, incisive stand-up routine that
vacillates between the relevant and the absurd. Orny attacks what’s
wrong with the world and sometimes even what’s wrong with Orny. He’s
brutally honest, satirical and his performance is ceaselessly
energetic.
Orny has had one hour stand up specials on Netflix, Comedy Central and his third special More Than Loud is airing now on Showtime. Orny has appeared all over television, most notably on The Tonight Show, Late Night with David Letterman and The Conan O’Brien Show. And you might also recognize him as Coach from the TV show Teen Wolf which ran for six seasons.
In this clip, Orny focuses on the warnings on the label of a water bottle. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Israel's 70th birthday is over, but the celebrations will continue around the world all year long. A special song has been selected as the official song to commemorate the occasion, and it is catching fire worldwide in song and dance.
The song is Yisrael Sheli (My Israel) and the official video is by Israeli pop singers Yardena Arazi and Lior Narkis. It's a very catchy tune and must have been released a few weeks ago so it could be used to train groups of dancers who recorded their versions for sharing on YouTube.
Here is the original music video, followed by a montage of dance groups in 48 cities in 16 countries performing the same dance. We should warn you that it's infectious and if you watch both videos you may be singing and humming the melody and dancing around your house and neighborhood all weekend long. Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Continuing our tribute to Israel on its 70th birthday, we're sharing another excerpt from the new show 70 Years in the Promised Land as performed by an international cast of singers assembled by Musical
Director and Producer Tomer Adaddi. This excerpt is a collection of horas with black and white films of the original dancing in the streets of Tel Aviv on the first Independence Day in May 1948. Just below this video we're also sharing a video interview wiith musical director Tomer Adaddi in which he talks about the Spanish River concerts in South Florida and explains the origins of the show and talks about the performers who are actors and singers in Habima, the Israel National Theatre. Enjoy!
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To celebrate Israel's 70th Independence Day, Koolulam invited 12,000 people who hadn't met before to sing together in a special event with the artist Shlomi Shabat, accompanied by the Jerusalem Street Orchestra, in collaboration with the Office of the President, the Ministry for Social Equality, and the Tel Aviv-Yafo Municipality. As Renee Ghert-Zand wrote in The Times of Israel,
Koolulam’s popularity has soared since it kicked off in Tel Aviv in
April 2017, with Israelis jumping at the opportunity to come together
with thousands of strangers — to sing.
The NIS 40 ($11.50) tickets for recent Koolulam events have sold out in
mere minutes. In under an hour, participants learn a three-part
arrangement of a Hebrew or English song, and then perform it for a video
to be shared on social media. Views of the videos reach into the
hundreds of thousands, and millions in some cases.
When they conceived of the initiative, Koolulam’s three founders, Ben
Yefet, Michal Shahaf Shneiderman, and Or Taicher, were aiming for that
feeling of connection between strangers.
Shneiderman, 33, takes credit for the initiative’s catchy name. It’s a
multiple play on the English word “cool,” the Hebrew word “kulam”
(everyone), the Hebrew word “kol” (voice), and “kululu,” the ululation
sound of joy some Israelis of North African and Middle Eastern descent
make at happy occasions like bar mitzvahs and weddings.
“Basically, the gist of it is that we should all be happy together,” Shneiderman said.
In that spirit, let's all join in singing Al Kol Eleh to wish a very happy 70th birthday to the State of Israel.
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Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel's Independence Day, is always preceded by Yom HaZikaron,
Israel’s Memorial Day for its fallen soldiers. The message of linking
these two days is clear: Israelis owe their independence — the very
existence of the state — to the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for
it.
This year Yom HaZikaron begins tonight and will be observed tomorrow until nightfall when the Yom HaAtzmaut festivities begin and continue through Thursday.
To
mark these two important dates in the Jewish calendar, today we're
sharing a special video of the 300+ voices of the HaZamir high school choir singing David Burger's T'fila L'Tzahal - The Prayer for the Israel Defense Forces. The song is conducted by Dr. Marsha Bryan Edelman, Conductor of HaZamir Philadelphia
and accompanied by Scott Stein, Conductor of HaZamir Manhattan. It was sung at the HaZamir Gala Concert in Carnegie Hall in 2016.
Tomorrow
we'll celebrate Israel's 70th birthday.
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Yes, it's Monday again -- Monday of a very special week that includes the 70th anniversary of the founding of the State of Israel on Wednesday evening. There will be ceremonies in Israel and around the world to celebrate Yom HaAtzmaut, and memorial services on Tuesday evening, Yom Hazikaron, for those who gave their lives in defense of the State of Israel.
But all that is later in the week. Today is joke day, and here is one for Israel's birthday.
Here's the setup: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. On the third day, God was very busy creating the land. He turned to the angel Gabriel and said "Today I'm going to create a land called Israel." And then...
Enjoy!
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Australian globetrotter and
energetic personality Joseph Waks has created 70 short videos to celebrate
Israel's 70th birthday. We posted one a few weeks ago and we'll be posting more
throughout this celebratory year.
Waks traveled the length and breadth of
Israel to record vignettes of places and people that you're not likely to find
on a short touristy visit.
Project 70 began out of just pure
love for the adventures, the people, the land, nature, and creativity of the Israeli
people. We'll share some of the more unusual sights and sounds that we found in
the 70 videos. Today we're visiting a Beer Festival in progress in Tekoa, about
10 miles from Jerusalem. L'chaim!
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Musical
Director and Producer Tomer Adaddi assembled an international cast of singers to celebrate the 70th birthday of Israel. Their show, 70 Years in the Promised Land, was presented in a series of concerts last month in South Florida.
Through musical
artistry, the cast bestowed heartfelt birthday wishes for peace and
prosperity upon the young nation. The evening immersed the audiences in a
profound experience, comprised of the sights and sounds of Israel and
the far reaches of the Diaspora.
The concerts are over, but we found video clips of the performances on the Internet, and we'll be sharing them as part of our continuing celebration of Israel's 70th birthday. As we welcome Shabbat again tonight, here is the ensemble as they appeared on stage singing Adon Olam and Oseh Shalom. Enjoy and Shabbat shalom! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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As Israel commemorates Holocaust Remembrance Day, 600 Holocaust
survivors and their families met in Jerusalem and celebrated their life
through song.
As the Arutz Sheva staff wrote on April 9,
Leading up to Yom Hashoah (Holocaust Martyrs' and Heroes' Remembrance
Day), six hundred Holocaust survivors and their families, including
second, third, and even fourth generation survivors, gathered at
Jerusalem’s Beit Avi Chai to unite in recording, in Hebrew, Ofra Haza’s
Chai (Hebrew for “alive”).
The song Chai was specifically chosen for this event. It was written
by the late Ehud Manor and composed by Avi Toledano for the 1983
Eurovision Competition in Munich.
Manor noted that the words were written as an expression of defiance
and victory of the Jews, directed at those who made every attempt to
destroy the Jewish people. Indeed, the song proudly declares that the
Jewish people are very much alive: “This is the song that our
grandfather sang yesterday to our father, and today, I, I am able to
sing it.”
As the song was being recorded, many of the survivors were overcome
with emotion. Hands shaking, some with concentration camp numbers
visible on their arms, yet hands planted firmly on their Israeli
children and grandchildren, they described their memories of the horrors
– and survival. Many family members arrived from all over the country,
some from abroad, to join their grandparents and great-grandparents in
this unique event.
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Tonight and tomorrow we commemorate Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day. It's not a day for Jewish humor, but it can be and should be a day to recognize acts of bravery and compassion of Jews and non-Jews who saved lives in those troubled days of the 20th century.
Nicholas Winton was a British humanitarian who organized the rescue of 669 children, most of them Jewish, from Czechoslovakia on the eve of the Second World War in an operation later known as the Czech Kindertransport (German for "children's transport"). Winton found homes for the children and arranged for their safe passage to Britain.The world found out about his work over 50 years later, in 1988. The British press dubbed him the "British Schindler".
Winton's parents were German Jews named Wertheim who changed their name to Winton in an effort at integration.They also converted to Christianity, and Winton was baptized. His rescue achievements went unnoticed for half a century until in 1988 his wife found a detailed scrapbook in their attic,
containing lists of the children, including their parents' names and
the names and addresses of the families that took them in.
The wider world found out about his work in February 1988during an episode of the BBC television program That's Life!
when he was invited as a member of the audience. At one point, Winton's
scrapbook was shown and his achievements were explained. The host of
the program
asked whether anybody in the audience owed their lives to Winton, and
if so, to stand. More than two dozen people surrounding Winton rose and
applauded. This scene is shown at the end of the 10-minute long documentary below.
In 2003, Winton was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II for "services to humanity, in saving Jewish children from Nazi Germany occupied Czechoslovakia." On 28 October 2014, he was awarded the highest honour of the Czech Republic, the Order of the White Lion (1st class), by Czech President Miloš Zeman. He died in July 2015 at the age of 106. A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Bishul Akum on Food that Is Improved by Cooking
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by R. Daniel Mann Question: I learned that there is no bishul akum (the
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Second Term
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[image: Dry Bones cartoon, America,President,Trump, Election,]
An Historic Win!
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Comprehensive Guide to Finding Kosher Meals at Disney Parks in Florida and
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...
Israel's 70th birthday is over, but the celebrations will continue around the world all year long. A special song has been selected as the official song to commemorate the occasion, and it is catching fire worldwide in song and dance.
Continuing our tribute to Israel on its 70th birthday, we're sharing another excerpt from the new show 70 Years in the Promised Land as performed by an international cast of singers assembled by Musical
Director and Producer Tomer Adaddi.
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