Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
There's
more to many Jewish jokes than meets the eye. Andrew Silow-Carroll,
editor-in-chief of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency has started a series of
short YouTube videos in which he walks you through a classic Jewish
joke and explains what it's all about.
A few weeks ago we shared a video in which Andrew analyzed the jokes (actually stories) about the Wise Men of Chelm. Here's another one of his analyses, this one about the well worn and often well told joke about the Jewish woman who treks to India to visit a guru on a mountaintop.
We'll bring you more of these analyses of classic Jewish jokes from time to time. We hope there will be more of them soon.
Enjoy!
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Monday is here again, and we hope you're glad that it means it's joke time at Jewish Humor Central. We're still laughing from the jokes that we told and heard during the first week of July at the Berkshire Hills Eisenberg Adult Vacation
Center in Copake, New York. Once again it brought us back in touch with staff members
and vacationers who shared jokes with us last year and who came prepared
with a few more for us to share with you.
Here's one by Naomi Goldstein, a senior
citizen coordinator from New York who is now retired and living in
Florida.
Here's the setup: Becky and her son live in Europe, and her son decides he wants to go to America. Becky is heartbroken, but her son says "Don't worry Mama, I'll write to you all the time." And then...
Enjoy!
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More
than 2000 years ago Jerusalem was burned and the Temple destroyed. The
Jewish People were exiled and lost their unity. In the diaspora, the
Jewish People split into two -- the Sephardim and the Ashkenazim. Although
there is more that unites these two communities than divides them, the
differences are interesting and sometimes funny.
Last week we posted the
first of two videos that highlight the different way the Sephardim and
Ashkenazim express themselves in prayer.
Today we're posting the second video to see how each group reacts to tasting the other's favorite ethnic
foods. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We like to welcome Shabbat every week with a song from the Shabbat liturgy. A couple of weeks ago we posted a version of Lecha Dodi by FDD Vocal. It was so well liked that we're bringing them back this week to sing a medley of Shabbat songs from Kabbalat Shabbat to after Havdalah.
The FDD Vocal ensemble was established in 2017 and includes five singers who are graduates of the Israel military rabbinate band. They have been a huge success in Israel and around the world.
The vocalists also appear in events and performances as solo artists themselves and sing in a wide variety of languages and musical styles, from authentic Chassidic music to contemporary world music. Enjoy! A
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Stewie Stone is a classic Catskills
comedy performer who is still doing his shtick in Florida and wherever
Jewish audiences can be found.
Stone is living proof
that you can take the kid out of Brooklyn, but you can't take Brooklyn
out of the kid. Even his name, Stewie, comes direct from Flatbush.
"In Brooklyn," he explains, "we're very big on vowels. We put 'E's at
the end of everything -- Hermie, Frankie, Stewie. "
Stone started as a
drummer for New York bands, became a midweek entertainer at the Concord
Hotel in the Catskills, and worked his way up to being the opening act
for Paul Anka, Frankie Avalon, Dionne Warwick, Ben Vereen, Bobby Vinton, Sonny & Cher, and Engelbert Humperdinck in Las Vegas.
Dave Konig and Brent Katz created a short film 'Stewie
Stone: In One', based on the life
and comedy of Stewie Stone. In the film, Stone reminisces about his life in stand-up comedy. Enjoy! A
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WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON INTHE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO. #Throwback Thursday #TBT
In the early 1900's thousands of seltzer
deliverymen criss-crossed the nation, schlepping heavy glass bottles
full of fizzy water to millions of thirsty customers. Today, with only a handful of
deliverymen left in the country, the siphon machines at Gomberg Seltzer Works don't turn like they used to.
Most of the old customers have
passed on (or moved to Florida). But there are still bubbles being made
by third-generation seltzer filler Kenny Gomberg. And Alex Gomberg, the fourth generation member of the family is giving tours of the factory. As Marjorie Ingall wrote in Tablet last week after attending a tour with Alex,
In an old-school factory setting of cement floors, cinder block walls,
and dusty crates of topless old bottles stacked to the ceiling, Alex
told us of the joys of seltzer. “It’s a cleaner, crisper-tasting water
because it’s triple filtered,” he said.
The siphon mechanism means the
seltzer won’t lose its fizz for months, even years. “A bottle from the
supermarket loses pressure the minute you open it,” he says. “It’s flat
in days.” And of course, real seltzer bubbles aren’t your passive, wimpy
little supermarket bubbles; they’re big and assertive, like Brooklyn.
“You really feel it when it hits your throat,” Alex said. “Good seltzer
should hurt.”
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Last November on an episode of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, comedian Jerry Seinfeld and host Fallon engaged in a stand-up comedy battle, each one taking a turn at telling a short Seinfeld stand-up routine to see which of the two was the better Seinfeld. The joke topics included ''Wait Up", "Star Wars", "Pizza Hut", "Rubber Dividers", and "Birthday Clown." Enjoy! A
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It's
another Monday, and time to share another Joke to Start the Week. Our week at the Berkshire Hills Eisenberg Adult Vacation
Center in Copake, New York, brought us back in touch with staff members and vacationers who shared jokes with us last year and who came prepared with a few more for us to share with you. Bob Epstein, a retired assistant principal in the New York school system, is a recreation specialist at the Copake camp. He is also a veteran of other adult camps.
In today's post, Bob tells the true story of the advice he used to give senior campers at orientation sessions in Pennsylvania about how to deal with unexpected encounters with bears in the woods.
Enjoy! A
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There is no day
during the year when we can't find an opportunity to laugh, chuckle, guffaw,
grin, or maybe just crack a smile. Without humor, the world would be a
much grimmer place.
Even during the High Holy Days and on fast days, most
of us find a moment to share an anecdote or witty comment with
friends.
Today is no
exception, but the overall mood is much more sorrowful than any other.
The reason, of course, is that today is Tisha B'Av, the ninth day of the
Hebrew month of Av.
Tisha B’Av is a fast day that commemorates the
destruction of the two Temples. It also happens to be the day that many other
calamities have befallen the Jewish people, some of which are listed below.
587 BCE (3338)- The First Temple
is destroyed by the Babylonians, led by Nebuchadnezzar. The Jews are sent
into what later became known as the Babylonian Exile.
70 CE (3830)- The Second Temple is
destroyed by the Romans, led by Titus.
135 CE (3895) - The Romans defeat
Bar Kochba's last fortress, Betar, and destroy his army. Bar Kochba
himself is killed along with more than 100,000 other Jews. The Roman
Emperor Hadrian turns Jerusalem into a Roman city.
1290 (5050) - King Edward I of
England signs an edict expelling all Jews from England.
1492 (5252) - The Alhambra Decree
takes effect, expelling the Jews from Spain and from all Spanish
territories.
1914 (5674) - World War I begins
when Germany declares war on Russia, setting the stage for World War II
and the Holocaust.
1940 (5700) - Himmler presents his
plan for the "Final Solution" to the Jewish problem to the Nazi
Party.
1942 (5702) - Nazis begin
deporting Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto.
On Tisha B'Av,
Jews gather in darkened synagogues to read Eicha (The Book of
Lamentations) and reflect on the tragedies that befell our people through the
millennia.
So we won't post any
jokes or hilarity today, but instead we're sharing a performance by IDF Chief
Cantor Shai Abramson and the IDF Rabbinical Choir of Im Eshkachech
Yerushalayim (If I Forget Thee O Jerusalem), the words coming from Psalm
137.
If I forget you, O Yerushalayim,
let my right hand wither;
im
esh-ka-KHAYKH y’-ru-sha-LA-im tish-KAKH y’-mee-NEE
Psalm 137 was written
by the rivers of Babylon, where the exiled Jews wailed and lamented the
destruction of the Beit Hamikdash. They wondered how they
would continue to endure on foreign soil. How could they sing the songs
of Hashem, which were supposed to be sung in the Temple, there?
Their answer was an oath to never forget Yerushalayim.
Today, this psalm is recited at Jewish weddings just before the
groom breaks a glass, ensuring that Jerusalem is always at the forefront of our
minds and reminding us that no joyous occasion is complete until Yerushalayim is
restored to its former glory.
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We have posted many versions of Yedid Nefesh, one of the prayers in the Kabbalat Shabbat service on Friday night, but this one is very unusual. It's a cappella in six-part harmony recorded by a singer who doesn't identify himself in the YouTube video that he posted. The only identification on the video is that it's a "That Was Fred" production. If the singer lets us know his name and gives us some of the backstory about his recording technique, we'll be glad to share the information and some of his other songs with you. The singer does say that he recorded and filmed himself singing his original arrangement of this
wonderful Kabbalat Shabbat song and gives credit to all his Hebrew day school and
summer experiences at Camp Ramah in the Poconos for making him love it so much.
Enjoy and Shabbat Shalom!
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Morey
Amsterdam was a great stand-up comedian in the days when political
correctness was unheard of. His ability to come up with a joke on any
subject earned him the name of The Human Joke Machine.
Amsterdam
had his own TV shows from 1948 to 1950. Among his regular guests was
song-and-dance man Art Carney. In 1950 he hosted the comedy-variety show
Broadway Open House, TV's first late-night entertainment show, on NBC.
It demonstrated the potential for late-night programming and led to the
later development of The Tonight Show.
Back in 2015 we posted a classic Morey Amsterdam standup routine with Polish jokes, doctor jokes, and golf jokes. This week we found another one of his routines in which he finds unusual stories in a Newspaper.
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VIDEO. #Throwback Thursday #TBT
Last week we shared a video of a stand-up performance by David Weiss, a news anchor on New York radio station WINS, who came in second in The Jewish Week's 20th annual Funniest Jewish Comedian contest. Today we're sharing a comedy routine by 82-year-old Fay Susskind, who also placed in the top tier of contestants.
Fay Susskind, who turned 82 in April, was the picture of confidence.
Petite, in a white dress decorated with pink and red flowers, Susskind
joked about the experience of dating at her age: “If anyone has a stray
grandfather lying around, and he can drive or has an Uber account, come
see me after the show.”
And when Fay Susskind stumbled over a punch line, the audience’s
encouragement bucked her up and she tried the joke again. “Why do
married women gain more weight than single women? A single woman comes
home, looks in the fridge, and goes to bed. A married woman comes home,
looks in the bed, and goes to the fridge.” Susskind received the biggest
applause of the night.
Enjoy!
A
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The Yiddish folk love song Tumbalalaika
originated in Eastern Europe in the 19th century, but its exact origin
is hard to pinpoint. That hasn't prevented it from being sung and played
over and over, not only in places where Yiddish songs are sung, but
just about everywhere in the world, in vocal and instrumental versions,
in cabarets and in the movies.
Just as we have followed the songs Hava Nagila, Adon Olam, Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, and Abanibi
as they took different forms as interpreted by a wide variety of
singers, musicians, and dancers, we're continuing the series today that
we started back in 2012, bringing you many interpretations of this
universal courting and love
song.
This rendition of Tumbalalaika is by pianist/singer Matthew Ball. A former attorney, Matthew left the practice after he attended
a hometown boogie-woogie festival. He was so awestruck by the
performances he saw that night, he left his career as an attorney to
become a blues & boogie-woogie performing artist.
Today Matthew is known online and on-stage asTHE BOOGIE WOOGIE KID with a performance history that spans ten states, including everything from symphony appearances to Jazz and Blues festivals.
Enjoy!
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It's Monday again. Time for another joke to start the week. Today we're dipping into the archives of Old Jews Telling Jokes and finding one by lawyer Malcolm Busch. Here's the setup: A fellow named Joe is at the barber shop. Dominic is his barber. He says "Dominic, I won't be here in three weeks for my usual haircut. The wife and I are taking a trip with her friends." And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR
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More than 2000 years ago Jerusalem was burned and the Temple destroyed. The Jewish People were exiled and lost their unity. In the diaspora, the Jewish People split into two -- the Sephardim and the Ashkenazim. Although there is more that unites these two communities than divides them, the differences are interesting and sometimes funny. Today we're posting the first of two videos that highlight the different way the Sephardim and Ashkenazim express themselves in prayer. Later this week we'll take a look at how each group reacts to tasting the other's favorite ethnic foods. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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VIDEO.
The FDD Vocal ensemble was established in 2017 and includes five singers who are graduates of the Israel military
rabbinate band. They have been a huge success in Israel and around the
world. The vocalists also appear in events and
performances as solo artists themselves and sing in a wide variety of
languages and musical styles, from authentic Chassidic music to
contemporary world music. For this week's Shabbat video, the FDD Vocal ensemble sings a unique multi-melodic version of Lecha Dodi, the hymn sung in the Kabbalat Shabbat service.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom.
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VIDEO.
There's
more to many Jewish jokes than meets the eye. Andrew Silow-Carroll,
editor-in-chief of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency has started a series of
short YouTube videos in which he walks you through a classic Jewish
joke and explains what it's all about.
