Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Conan O'Brien, the Irish late night talk show host, doesn't go to shul. That's not exactly breaking news. But in one of his early shows, two Jewish men showed up and asked him why they haven't seen him in shul lately. "What?" he responded. "What's shul?" That's the beginning of a routine that brings a very unusual shul to the stage of the TV studio. And Conan does finally go to this shul. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Lecha Dodi is a liturgical poem written by Shlomo Halevi Alkabetz. The
first letter of each stanza spells out the author’s name. It is a poem
of love, commitment, hope, and Shabbat. We have shared 22 versions of this Kabbalat Shabbat song and we keep finding new ones. This version is by Josh Warshawsky, created while he was the artist-in-residence at Temple Beth Am in Los Angeles. The young Jews in their 20s and 30s who came to his apartment on Corning Street. They embraced the melody and even after the building was torn down to build a new school, it is remembered as the Corning Street Niggun. Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Gallagher & Shean were a highly successful musical comedy double act
in vaudeville and on Broadway in the 1920s, consisting of Edward
Gallagher (1873 – March 28, 1929) & Al Shean (May 12, 1868 – August
12, 1949). Shean was the maternal uncle of the Marx Brothers, sister of Minnie Marx.
Gallagher & Shean remain best known for their theme song “Mister
Gallagher and Mister Shean”, which was a hit in the 1922 Ziegfeld
Follies. The song endured in popularity and was regularly updated with
additional verses; consequently, it exists in several different
versions.
The song was recorded by Gallagher and Shean as two sides of a ten inch
78rpm record in the Summer of 1922 for Victor Records. It would be
recorded by others on other record labels. The song was extremely
popular & well remembered.
Capitalizing on the post-King Tut craze for everything Egyptian,
Gallagher & Shean appeared in Egyptian dress (Gallagher in the pith
helmet & white suit of the tourist, Shean in the fez & oddly
skirted jacket of a “native” Egyptian colonial). Our thanks to Patrix Springer who posted this great throwback video clip on YouTube. A
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VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO. #Throwback Thursday #TBT
With Purim in the rear view mirror and supermarkets stocked with 5 lb. boxes of matzo, the Jewish world is focusing on the upcoming holiday of Passover.
In three weeks the store shelves will be picked clean of most kosher l'Pesach products, and we'll be sitting down for the annual Pesach seder (in Israel) and two sedarim everywhere else in the world. Stand-up comedian Benji Lovitt asked an audience of Israelis and Americans how they react to the difference between Pesach observance in Israel vs. abroad. Texas native and Israeli resident, Benji has
made a career out of turning his actual experiences in making aliyah to
Israel seven years ago into a series of hilarious standup comic
routines.
His standup comedy has been seen in person and online by viewers in
Israel, the US, and around the world, and his improvised videos and
hilarious blog entries have been featured in publications such as the
Times of Israel, the Jerusalem Post, Ynet, PresenTense magazine, the Jewish Daily Forward and Israel21c, among others.
Enjoy! A
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On Sunday evening we started the last week of our winter Florida tour by attending a comedy performance by Sarge at Century Village. A world famous comedian, Sarge (Steve Pickman), shares his personal insights with his
audience, performing riffs on growing up black and Jewish in Long
Island, NY.
His personal anecdotes on being a black Jew in America give
him an extraordinary view on life and give his comedy just the right
edge.
In a 90 minute stand-up comedy performance, Sarge, the author of an autobiography titled Black Boychik, kept the audience laughing out loud at his unique perspectives in growing up in Great Neck. Here are some examples:
“The Jewish part of me doesn’t work on Shabbos, and the black part tries not to work the other six days.”
“I went to visit my Jewish parents the other day. I do this whenever my self-esteem is too high.”
“I’m black and Jewish. I hire myself to clean my own house. … I’m a criminal and my own defense attorney.”
Also an accomplished pianist and singer, Sarge asked the audience to shout out the titles of about 12 favorite songs. He wrote them down and immediately played a medley of all the songs that were requested.
We don't have a video clip of Sunday night's performance but we'll share a collection of excerpts from his popular shows. Enjoy! A
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It's another
Monday and it's time for another Joke to Start the Week.
Kosher butcher shops tend to close just before sundown on Friday nights,
in preparation for Shabbat. Los Angeles Jewish Home resident Joe
Weinbaum, 91, tells a joke about a customer's visit just before closing
time. Here's
the setup: Just as the butcher was getting ready to close his shop on Friday afternoon, a woman comes in and says "Sam, I need a chicken for Shabbos. I hope you have one left." And then...
Enjoy!
A
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Last week we celebrated Purim, the merriest holiday in the Jewish calendar. As we read Megillat Esther, did we really know what the golden drinking vessels used at King Ahasuerus' party looked like? And what did the "pur", the lottery used by Haman look like? Rabbi Mordechai Becher, an instructor at Yeshiva University, found the answers in the British Museum in London and in the National Museum of Iran. In this video posted last week by Aish.com, the leading Jewish content website, he shows us replicas of these ancient artifacts. Enjoy! A
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It's hard to believe that the holiday of Purim is behind us, unless we live in Jerusalem or another walled city where today is celebrated as Shushan Purim.
But the spirit of fun parodies lives on after Purim. Just last week Cantor Azi Schwartz of the Park Avenue Synagogue in Manhattan posted an excerpt from a fun parody about the life of a cantor adapted by Jonathan Comisar.
Recorded live at Temple Emanu-El in New York City, he was joined by cantors of neighboring congregations: Cantor Mo Glazman
(Reform) and Cantor Chaim David Berson (Orthodox), as part of a new
project called "One Voice.”
It's a funny description of a cantor's life serving as the congregation's prayer leader and being responsive to the unpredictable needs of its members. It's set to the music of Gee, Officer Krupke from the musical West Side Story.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom! A
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Today we celebrate the holiday of Purim which started last night with the reading of Megillat Esther. We wish a Happy Purim to all of our
Jewish Humor Central readers. We hope you enjoy this special Purim spoof from
the Purim 2019 issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle. You can download the PDF by
clicking HERE. Print it and share it at your Purim Seudah.
There
are the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards (Oscars). But who needs them when
the best awards of all are the Silver Graggers. Jewish Humor Central is proud
to present the movie awards from our sister publication, The Kustanowitz Kronikle.
The Silver Graggers are different from the Golden Globes and the Oscars in that
there are multiple winners for Best Picture, the only award we give.
This year the Kustanowitz kids have been hard at work, deliberating which films
released in 2018 merited consideration for this prestigious award. Today we are
announcing the winners of the annual competition. Here are the best films of
2018 with a brief description of each one.
AQUAMAN: An excitement and CGI-packed story of Nachshon
ben Aminadav, the first to jump into the Red Sea before the waters parted. A QUIET PLACE: A time-traveling Haman goes from shul to shul on
Purim, devastated to discover that no matter where he goes, his name gets
booed. A STAR (ESTHER) IS BORN: Before she was a queen, she was an
aspiring country singer. Then she found someone who believed in her. The Esther
and Mordechai story gets the Hollywood treatment, starring Lady Gaga and
Bradley Cooper. AT ETERNITY’S GATE: When the Rabbi's Yom Kippur sermon nears
the two-hour mark, congregants begin to daydream about a myriad of ways they
can end his contract. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY: Inspired by 'the '80's hit
"Footloose", this spirited musical highlights one brave cantor's
efforts to engage his millennial congregants with updated rock-inspired Shabbos
Niggunim, while facing fierce opposition from their traditional parents. BUMBLEBEE: A bee who's had it with the annual production demands
for Rosh Hashanah honey decides to unionize his hive. CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?: One woman's year-long journey of
redemption after accidentally serving her Passover guests Kitniyot. FREE SOLO: Chaos ensues when the shul's kiddush committee
announces that in preparation for Pesach, they are giving away all the shul's
plastic cups on a first-come, first-serve basis. INSTANT FAMILY: A newly-married ultra-Orthodox woman’s job is
done when she learns that she’s pregnant with octuplets. OCEAN’S EIGHT: When two of their friends cancel, a group of eight
observant Jews sadly spend their beach weekend trying to find two Jews to round
out their minyan. RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET: Ralph comes back from a second year at
an ultra-Orthodox yeshiva believing that the internet is forbidden, but his
attempts to destroy the family router are thwarted when he discovers his
parents have become obsessed with watching Shtisel on Netflix. RIVERDALE: Archie, Jughead, Betty and Veronica meet their new
neighbors, ten modern Orthodox couples who just moved into the Imperial and are
all expecting. SKIN: The Rebbetzin shocks an entire community when her
'flesh'- colored sleeves and stockings look too much like the real thing. SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDERVERSE: A multi-generational epic
about a family of trapeze artists that have volunteered to check one
community's Eruv for more than 100 years- using highly unorthodox
methods. THE CAPTAIN MARVELOUS MRS. SHTISEL: The ultimate origin story of
a Haredi woman turned standup comic turned superhero. THE FAVOURITE: When three children all become doctors, their
parents start ranking them by how many grandchildren they've produced. THE WIFE: After a group of struggling yeshiva students takes on
more Pesach kashering gigs than they can possibly handle, they secretly hire
their Rebbe's wife to teach them the secrets of making Pesach in half the time
(web series spin-off coming soon). VICE: Inspired by the best-selling book “Murder at the Minyan,” a
synagogue’s vice president is accused of murdering family members of his
congregants to keep the daily minyan up and running. WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?: In a small town filled with Shabbat
observers, a non-Jewish family is wined and dined by locals, all hoping to live
next to the Shabbos goy.
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Israel’s Tenth Trial
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by R. Eliezer Simcha Weisz In this unprecedented hour of trial, Israel
stands at a historic crossroads facing a perilous moment, waging battle on
eight fr...
A Friend Indeed
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[image: Dry Bones cartoon, Trump, MAGA, President, Jerusalem, Embassy,
America, Huckabee,]
Welcome Ambassador Huckabee!
* * * And *IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO MAK...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Taking the Shuk to the Next Level
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Anyone who has spent any time on my blog, or just getting to know me, knows
how much I love Jerusalem’s famous outdoor market, Shuk Machane Yehuda.
I’ve ...
Kettlebell Training Massachusetts
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In April 2006, legislation was passed requiring all residents in
Massachusetts specializes in assisting Massachusetts residents who have
been put on exhi...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...