Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long
Island in Suffolk County.
After
a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus
to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some
of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you
today.
Here's
the setup: Mr. Schwartz is a very successful banker in the financial district of Manhattan. In front of his building there's a pushcart from which an old lady sells bagels for 50 cents each. And then...
Enjoy!
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We've been big fans of Rita Rudner ever since she started to appear on late night TV in the 1980s. One
of the hallmarks of her comedy is that it's clean, free from the
vulgarity and shouting that many stand-up comics find necessary. Her
delivery is demure, tasteful, full of wry observations, and
very funny.
Rudner
started her career as a dancer, then switched to stand-up comedy about
her dating experiences. She married British producer Martin Bergman
about 30 years ago and they have a daughter. She is fond of Jewish
humor but generally reserves it for when she performs for Jewish
audiences. Rita
just released video clips of some recent performances. Today we're sharing her observations on what it's like to be an older woman.
Enjoy!
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This week we welcome Shabbat with Ana Bekoach, a liturgical poem from the Kabbalat Shabbat service that appears in the siddur just before Lecha Dodi. It's a Kabbalistic prayer composed by Rav Nehunia Ben Hakannah. It is also sung at weddings.
Known
as the 42-letter Name of God, Ana Bekoach is a unique formula
built of 42 letters written in seven sentences of six words each. Each
of the seven sentences correspond to the seven days of the week, seven
specific angels, and to a particular heavenly body. The letters that
make up Ana Bekoach are encoded within the first 42 letters of the book of Genesis.
The
kabbalists explain that this combination of letters takes us back to
the time of Creation, and each time we meditate on a particular
sequence, we return to the original uncorrupted energy that built the
world. By performing the Ana Bekoach meditation, we enrich our lives with unadulterated spiritual Light and positive energy.
This version of Ana Bekoach is a version sung by Rav Itzhak Azran. The Hebrew text and translation appear below the video.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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ANA B'CHO'ACH
We, we beg Hashem with the strength and greatness of thy right arm, untangle our knotted fate.
Accept your people's song, elevate, elevate and purify us
We beg Hashem with the strength and greatness of thy right arm, untangle our knotted fate.
Accept your people's song, elevate and purify us
Please, heroic one, those who pursue your uniqueness guard them as the pupil of an eye.
Bless them, purify them, pity them
May your righteousness always reward them. Powerful and Holy One
Powerful and Holy One, in goodness lead your flock.
Unique and proud one, to your people turn, who remember your holiness.
Accept our cries, and hear our screams, oh knower of mysteries. (Blessed is the name of his noble kingdom forever and ever.)
Many of us have memorized the words of Allan Sherman's big hit novelty song Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (A Letter from Camp)that he recorded in 1963. But did you know that in 1966 he came up with a sequel, Return to Camp Granada?
Sherman appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show on April 24, 1966 to sing the updated version.
The melody of the original version is taken from the ballet Dance of the Hours from the Opera "La Gioconda" by Amilcare Ponchielli, while Sherman wrote the lyrics with Lou Busch.
He based the lyrics on letters of complaint which he received from his son Robert who was attending Camp Champlain, a summer camp in Westport, New York.
In 2020, the song was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Recording Registry for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".
Here's Allan Sherman on the Ed Sullivan Show with his Return to Camp Granada.
Enjoy!
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It's
well known that many of the songs that comprise the collection known as The Great American Song Book were written by Jewish composers and lyricists, mostly
in the decades between 1930 and 1965, but also going back to the turn of the
20th century.
The
most prolific of these writers are responsible for the great majority of songs.
Rodgers and Hart, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Irving Berlin, George and Ira
Gershwin lead the long list of songwriters and their songs number in the
hundreds.
But there are many
others that were written by composers and lyricists that you very likely never
heard of. These songwriters wrote lots of pop songs to stand alone and as parts
of Broadway and Off-Broadway shows and Hollywood movies. Most of the songs are
long forgotten, but a few of them have become popular standards, and are sung
as much today as in the years they were written.
In this series, which
will run in Jewish Humor Central on a weekly basis, we will focus on one
songwriter at a time, and feature a video performance of their most popular
song.
Today we're featuring
Irving Gordon (1915-1996), who was born to a Jewish family in
Brooklyn. He started his music training on the violin, and later worked at Catskill
resort hotels writing musical parodies for their shows. In the thirties, he was
employed by Mills Music, a publishing and performer management company in New
York City, as a contract composer and lyricist. He put words to some of Duke
Ellington’s musical pieces.
He is
best known for the music and lyrics for “Unforgettable,” recorded by Nat King
Cole in 1951.
Cole died
in 1965. 26 years later, in 1991, digital technology made it possible for his
daughter Natalie to sing the same song in a virtual duet with her father. It
was performed at the 1992 Grammy Awards.
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BuzzFeed
UK has been running a series of videos in which members of different
countries or ethnic groups taste dishes of different cultures and pick
the winner in each category.
In this episode three British Jewish mums taste and review each other's cooking to see who makes the best matzah ball soup (chicken soup).
Enjoy!
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It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.
Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory.
With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.
Mickey
also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's
the setup: Shlomo Berger and Murray Kleinman went to High School in Philadelphia together 60 years ago. In the interim they played tennis every week. One time they were out playing tennis as usual and, at a break, Shlomo said to Murray "You know, I'm not going to be able to play next time because I have to go to this Doctor Steinhart." And then...
Enjoy!
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Here's a fragment of the concert "MaisterBeri Sisters" on the stage in Moscow's Gradsky Hall last August.In this performance of the duet of jazz divas Eteri Beriashvili and Liana Meister singing songs from the "Barry Sisters" program sound today.
"Hava Nagila" / "Tumbalalaika" / "A Yiddishe mama" / "Hevenu Shalom Aleichem" - Songs that are over 100 years old!Ancient, but always modern, accompanied by the "MaisterBeri Band" conducted by Alexander Antonov, performed in the spirit of the times, but with great respect for the original.The concert was held with the support of radio JAZZ.
Enjoy!
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The English translation is: It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto Thy name, O Most High;
To declare Thy lovingkindness in the morning, and Thy faithfulness in the night seasons.
Enjoy, and Shabbat Shalom!
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Today's another
Throwback Thursday and we're turning the clock back 57 years to 1965 and
one of Alan King's 50 appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show.
In
this segment King talks about the joys of being a pal to his two sons and the pleasures of a Sunday drive with his family.
Enjoy!
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It's well known that
many of the songs that comprise the collection known as The Great
American Song Book were written by Jewish composers and lyricists,
mostly in the decades between 1930 and 1965, but also going back to the
turn of the 20th century.
The
most prolific of these writers are responsible for the great majority
of songs. Rodgers and Hart, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Irving Berlin,
George and Ira Gershwin lead the long list of songwriters and their
songs number in the hundreds.
But
there are many others that were written by composers and lyricists that
you very likely never heard of. These songwriters wrote lots of pop
songs to stand alone and as parts of Broadway and Off-Broadway shows and
Hollywood movies. Most of the songs are long forgotten, but a few of
them have become popular standards, and are sung as much today as in the
years they were written.
In
this series, which will run in Jewish Humor Central on a weekly basis,
we will focus on one songwriter at a time, and feature a video
performance of their most popular song.
Today
we're featuring Carolyn Leigh, who was born to a Jewish family in the Bronx. She graduated from Hunter High School, Queens College and NYU.
She wrote lyrics for Broadway shows
including Peter Pan, Wildcat, Little Me, and How Now, Dow Jones. Her best known song is the second one she wrote after
working as a copy writer for radio stations and advertising agencies.
In 1953 she was urged to write songs by a
music publisher. The first was I’m Waiting Just for You.
Her second was Young at Heart. At the time, her father, a man with a great
zest for life, had become ill and depressed.
“I wrote the song for him,” she recalled,
“using some of his own philosophy to cheer him up. When the song became Number
1, he was the most
happy
fella in the hospital.”
With music by Johnny Richard, here is the
definitive hit recording by Frank Sinatra.
Enjoy!
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We've been big fans of Rita Rudner ever since she started to appear on late night TV in the 1980s. One
of the hallmarks of her comedy is that it's clean, free from the
vulgarity and shouting that many stand-up comics find necessary. Her
delivery is demure, tasteful, full of wry observations, and
very funny.
We're looking forward to seeing her perform tomorrow night at the Kings Point theater in Delray Beach, Florida.
Rudner
started her career as a dancer, then switched to stand-up comedy about
her dating experiences. She married British producer Martin Bergman
about 30 years ago and they have a daughter. She is fond of Jewish
humor but generally reserves it for when she performs for Jewish
audiences. Rita
just released video clips of some recent performances. Today we're sharing her observations on how she doesn't understand young people with their strange behavior.
Enjoy!
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A few years ago, Toronto's Koerner Hall was the site of a performance of Jewish Folks Telling Jokes, a night of comedy to benefit Jewish Family and Child, one of the foremost Jewish service agencies in North America. Jewish Family and Child supports the healthy development
of individuals, children, families, and communities through prevention,
protection, counseling, education and advocacy services, within the
context of Jewish values. We previously posted a few jokes that were told at the event, a Canadian contribution to the world of Jewish humor, probably inspired by the off-Broadway show Old Jews Telling Jokes, still touring around the USA. We
were lucky to discover a few more jokes from these talented
Toronto joke tellers, and we'll be sharing some of them in future posts
of A Joke to Start the Week. This week's joke is told by David Goldbloom. Here's
the setup: It's a Saturday morning and the rabbi is finishing his sermon. And as he looks to the back of the hall, he sees Sheldon Goldstein. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE VIDEO IS NOT
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Oyfen Pripetshik is a is a Yiddish song by M.M. Warshawsky (1848–1907). The song is about a rabbi teaching his young students the aleph-bet. By the end of the 19th century it was one of the most popular songs of the Jews of Central and Eastern Europe, and as such it is a major musical memory of pre-Holocaust Europe. The song is still sung in Jewish kindergartens.
Here it is sung by Lea Kalisch, a
multi-lingual and multi-disciplinary New York City based performer.
Originally from Switzerland, Lea moved to NYC in 2014 to study at the
American Musical and Dramatic Academy. She earned a BFA in Musical
Theater from The New School.
Lea
has an insatiable curiosity for life and loves to use her vigorous
enthusiasm to entertain and challenge audiences as much as herself.
Lea
is a former professional figure-skater who always enjoyed ice-shows
much more than competitions, and yet her art is her sport.
She is Jewish with all her heart and feels Latin with all her hips.
What is Swiss about her? She has an obsession for everything that contains chocolate and she ticks like a Swiss Swatch.
Lea is accompanied on guitar by Rabbi Tobias Divack Moss, a rabbi at Temple Israel of Minneapolis.
Enjoy!
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Adon Olam (Hebrew: אֲדוֹן עוֹלָם;
"Eternal Lord" or "Sovereign of the Universe") is a hymn in the Jewish
liturgy. It has been a regular part of the daily and Shabbat liturgy
since the 15th century.
Its authorship and origin are uncertain. It is sometimes attributed to Solomon ibn Gabirol
(1021–1058), who is known for his Hebrew poetry, although there is no
solid evidence for this, and the regular metric structure does not seem
to accord with his other compositions. John Rayner, in his notes to the Siddur
Lev Chadash, suggests it was written in the thirteenth or fourteenth
century in Spain, noting its absence from the prayer book Sefer
Abudarham c. 1340. It has also been attributed to Hai Gaon (939–1038) and even to the Talmudic sage Yohanan ben Zakkai. Although its diction indicates antiquity, it did not become part of the morning liturgy until the 15th century.
Last week the clergy of Congregation Beth Israel of San Diego led the congregation in singing Adon Olam. Congregation Beth Israel, the historic center of Jewish life in San
Diego, is an inclusive Reform congregation that offers a warm welcome
and a nurturing home to all who seek a meyaningful and enduring
connection to Judaism.
Jack Carter (1922-2015) was born Jack Chakrin in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, New York to a Jewish family. Carter served in the United States Army Air Corps during World War II. He hosted an early television variety program called Cavalcade of Stars on the DuMont Network.
He was lured to NBC to host his own program titled The Jack Carter Show.Carter recommended Jackie Gleason to take his place as host of Cavalcade of Stars. The Jack Carter Show appeared under the banner of the Saturday Night Revue,
NBC's two-and-a-half-hour Saturday night programming slot. Carter
hosted his show for one hour each week followed by the 90-minute Your Show of Showsstarring Sid Caesar,Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner, and Howard Morris. Carter remained friends with Sid Caesar his entire life and delivered the eulogy at his funeral.
Here's a video clip from a Carter appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1960. In this standup routine, Carter has the audience laughing at his observations on marriage, bachelorhood, and mothers.
Enjoy!
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It's well known that
many of the songs that comprise the collection known as The Great
American Song Book were written by Jewish composers and lyricists,
mostly in the decades between 1930 and 1965, but also going back to the
turn of the 20th century.
The most prolific of these writers are responsible for the great majority of songs. Rodgers and Hart, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Irving Berlin, George and Ira Gershwin lead the long list of songwriters and their songs number in the hundreds.
But there are many others that were written by composers and lyricists that you very likely never heard of. These songwriters wrote lots of pop songs to stand alone and as parts of Broadway and Off-Broadway shows and Hollywood movies. Most of the songs are long forgotten, but a few of them have become popular standards, and are sung as much today as in the years they were written.
In this series, which will run in Jewish Humor Central on a weekly basis, we will focus on one songwriter at a time, and feature a video performance of their most popular song.
Today we're starting with Albert von Tilzer, who was born as Albert Gumm to Polish Jewish immigrants Sarah Tilzer and Jacob Gumbinsky. When his older brother Harry adopted his mother's maiden name as his own, seeking to make it sound even classier by tacking on a "Von", Albert and his other brothers followed suit.
Albert Von Tilzer was a top Tin Pan Alley tune writer, producing numerous popular music compositions from 1900 continuing through the early 1950s. He collaborated with many lyricists, including Jack Norworth, Lew Brown, and Harry MacPherson. A number of his tunes were performed (and recorded) by jazz bands and continue to be played decades later.
But Albert's most popular song was Take Me Out to the Ball Game, with lyrics written by Jack Norworth. Here is a video of the song performed by Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, from a movie with the same title.
Enjoy!
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James Cagney, the American actor best
known for playing tough guys in gangster films and for winning an Oscar
for playing George M. Cohan in Yankee Doodle Dandy, was a fluent Yiddish speaker.
He spoke Yiddish in a few of his films, including Taxi (1932) and The Fighting 69th (1940).
In his eponymous 1976 autobiography, Cagney crowed about his street cred zhargon that he learned from school friends who lived on the Lower East Side.
And, while it does not appear that he employed Yiddish as a stage
performer in New York, Cagney’s eyebrow raising bilingual skills became
famous in Hollywood.
One oft repeated story was how during Cagney’s
first negotiations at Warners, the brothers – not realizing his language
chops — attempted to outmaneuver him by periodically switching into
Yiddish. Cagney not only joined in but also did so in a Yiddish better
than theirs.
Here's the clip of Cagney as a taxi driver in Taxi.
He watches as a man (played by burlesque and vaudeville actor Joe Barton) tries to ask an Irish policeman how to get to Ellis
Island to see his wife. When he sees that the man can't get through to
the cop and says he has a goyishe kop, Cagney asks the man in Yiddish
where he wants to go. The man, surprised, asks Cagney if he is Jewish.
Cagney replies, "What then, a shaygetz?"
Enjoy the video excerpt.
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It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.
Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory.
With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.
Mickey
also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's
the setup: Two astronauts land on Mars. One of their scientific tasks is to see if there is any oxygen on the planet. "Give me the box of matches", the first one says to the other one. And then...
Enjoy!
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A small but hopeful contingent of six athletes are representing Israel in the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics. They will compete in figure skating and alpine skiing.
Hailey Kop, a 19-year old Modern Orthodox student from West Orange, New Jersey will be skating with Israeli figure skater Evgeny Krasnopolski in the pairs competition.
“It had always been a dream of mine to skate for Israel,” Kops said
in an interview. “As a Jewish religious girl raised Modern Orthodox, I
know that Israel is our home. It was always part of my plan to try to
skate for Israel.”
Kops and her mother became Israeli citizens in 2013 when Hailey joined Israel’s National Juniors Figure Skating team.
“I didn’t think twice about becoming a citizen of Israel,” she said.
Just being Jewish and growing up Modern Orthodox, I always had a
connection to Israel even if I do live in the U.S., so to become a
citizen was really cool to me.”
Aside from the gap year, Kops spent a summer in Israel and has
visited multiple times, including for three national skating
championships, she said.
Here are Kops and Krasnopolski skating in a 2021 competition.
Enjoy!
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
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