Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
In 2020 the Forverts launched a daily series of
short informal video clips called Yiddish Word of the Day.
The series,
written and narrated by Forverts editor Rukhl Schaechter, aims to give
non-Yiddish speakers an introduction to familiar Yiddish words and phrases and
how they might be used in everyday situations.
Schaechter, who was appointed the new editor of the Forverts in 2016, is
the first woman to helm the paper in its 119-year history, its first
editor to have been born in the United States, and likely its first editor
who is shomeret Shabbat.
We posted the
first
of this series in May 2020. Now that the Forverts is continuing the
series, we'll continue sharing some of the words and phrases as a regular feature of
Jewish Humor Central.
Today we get to learn the Yiddish word for dog and a proverb involving dogs and the 9 days, the period that we just entered in preparation for the fast of Tisha B'Av.
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This week we welcome Shabbat with Ana b'Cho'ach, a liturgical poem from the Kabbalat Shabbat service that appears in the siddur just before Lecha Dodi. It's a Kabbalistic prayer composed by Rav Nehunia Ben Hakannah.
Known
as the 42-letter Name of God, Ana b'Cho'ach is a unique formula
built of 42 letters written in seven sentences of six words each. Each
of the seven sentences correspond to the seven days of the week, seven
specific angels, and to a particular heavenly body. The letters that
make up Ana b'Cho'ach are encoded within the first 42 letters of the book of Genesis.
The
kabbalists explain that this combination of letters takes us back to
the time of Creation, and each time we meditate on a particular
sequence, we return to the original uncorrupted energy that built the
world. By performing the Ana b'Cho'ach meditation, we enrich our lives with unadulterated spiritual Light and positive energy.
The Hebrew text and translation appear below the video.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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yyyy
ANA B'CHO'ACH
We, we beg Hashem with the strength and greatness of thy right arm, untangle our knotted fate.
Accept your people's song, elevate, elevate and purify us
We beg Hashem with the strength and greatness of thy right arm, untangle our knotted fate.
Accept your people's song, elevate and purify us
Please, heroic one, those who pursue your uniqueness guard them as the pupil of an eye.
Bless them, purify them, pity them
May your righteousness always reward them. Powerful and Holy One
Powerful and Holy One, in goodness lead your flock.
Unique and proud one, to your people turn, who remember your holiness.
Accept our cries, and hear our screams, oh knower of mysteries. (Blessed is the name of his noble kingdom forever and ever.)
The Forward has published a list of the 125 Greatest Jewish Movie Scenes of All Time.
Compiled by Forward cultural reporter PJ Grisar and a panel of experts,
the list includes scenes from a very wide range of films.
As Grisar wrote in the introduction to the list,
If you were to edit the greatest Jewish
scenes into a montage, how long would it last? Perhaps not the whole
Parsha cycle, but it would be a real commitment to watch the entire
thing. This list, which features some surprises, many obvious choices
and surely just as many accidental omissions, is an attempt to capture
the diversity and scope of Jewish moments in the film canon. Some
highlight ritual, others language and still others a worldview or
perspective that resonates with the shul-going, shiva-sitting,
saw-you-at-Zabar’s set that’s been kicking around since Sinai.
In
the coming weeks, we'll be using our Throwback Thursday posting to
share some of these iconic, nostalgic scenes from films that resonated
with us through the years.
Today
we take you back to 1968 when Barbra Streisand played the role of Fanny Brice in the movie version of Funny Girl. In a scene from the film, Streisand was dressed as a ballerina performing in a parody of the Swan Lake ballet.
As film critic Carrie Rickey described the scene,
An exalted version of the ugly duckling.
Barbra Streisand’s debut film reprises her stage blockbuster about
vaudeville star Fanny Brice. In a scene highlighting Streisand’s
triple-threat talents as a singer/dancer/comedian, she demonstrates that
she is more than a swan. Behold the bird of paradise.
The lyrics that Barbra sings appear below the video clip.
Enjoy!
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#Throwback Thursday #TBT
FANNY BRICE What are ya gonna do? Shoot da swans? These lovelies? My swans girls? Can't you see when you look at me What a lovely creature is a swan- yoo-hoo!! I'm all over fluffy white. I wouldn't peck at you or bite And have tiny twinkle toes to dance upon- Oh was that good?
So you just gotta have a swan Well you're out of luck ‘Cause a chicken wouldn't do, It Would only cluck And besides you couldn't say "I saw a Chicken Lake ballet" They would think you don't know nothin' You are missing here a button ‘Cause a chicken's only good for consomme Where upon, where upon, Where upon where upon A chicken or a duck is a mistake When you do Swan Lake Ballet...
Would people support pickets whose signs demand lower pay? The folks at Candid Camera were able to convince random people to confront store owners with signs complaining that their employees were being paid too much.
Candid
Camera
was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series
created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as
The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947. After a series of theatrical
film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone,
Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued
into the 1970s. The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being
confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props,
such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car
with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would
be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."
Peter
Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host
with
his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS
television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which
he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show
full-time.
The
show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was
a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted
over 200 episodes.
In
this classic episode, picketers confronted store owners with signs complaining that they were unfair by paying their employees too much money.
Enjoy!
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During
the course of his José Jiménez acts on The Steve Allen Show, Bill Dana
(who was of Hungarian-Jewish ancestry, unlike the Bolivian
character he played) took his character through various roles including
elevator operator, sailor, and submariner until settling into the most
famous occupation that José would hold: astronaut. We previously posted his astronaut routine, and his portrayal of a submarine officer, interviewed by Steve Allen.
Here is another rare video from the Steve Allen Show, in which Dana, as a movie director named (what else?) Jose Jimenez, teaches actor Robert Ryan how to properly perform the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Enjoy! A
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It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.
Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory.
With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.
Mickey
also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's
the setup: One night it's very late, and an officer of the law sees a car weaving slightly. So the policeman goes and stops the car. And then...
Enjoy!
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On July 15, 2022, Saudi social media influencer Mohammed Saud posted on
his Twitter account a video of him playing “HaTikva”, Israel’s national
anthem, on an oud, a traditional Arab instrument. The Twitter caption
said in Hebrew: “Preparing for peace and normalization, practicing in
the meantime.”
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Today we welcome Shabbat with an energetic version of Shalom Aleichem performed by the fourth grade class of the Atlanta Jewish Academy to the melody of the Beatles' song Let it Be.
Atlanta Jewish Academy is a college preparatory, co-educational, Early
Childhood - 12th Grade, independent Jewish Day School, guided by modern
orthodox values and principles, embodying the ideals of community,
tradition, individual development, and educational innovation.
Atlanta
Jewish Academy develops the whole person for college and life by
fostering a love of Torah, Israel and all Jewish people through an
excellent General and Judaic education within an inclusive, nurturing
community.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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The Forward has published a list of the 125 Greatest Jewish Movie Scenes of All Time. Compiled by Forward cultural reporter PJ Grisar and a panel of experts, the list includes scenes from a very wide range of films.
As Grisar wrote in the introduction to the list,
If you were to edit the greatest Jewish
scenes into a montage, how long would it last? Perhaps not the whole
Parsha cycle, but it would be a real commitment to watch the entire
thing. This list, which features some surprises, many obvious choices
and surely just as many accidental omissions, is an attempt to capture
the diversity and scope of Jewish moments in the film canon. Some
highlight ritual, others language and still others a worldview or
perspective that resonates with the shul-going, shiva-sitting,
saw-you-at-Zabar’s set that’s been kicking around since Sinai.
In the coming weeks, we'll be using our Throwback Thursday posting to share some of these iconic, nostalgic scenes from films that resonated with us through the years.
Today we take you back to 1960 when Paul Newman drove Eva Marie Saint to a Jezreel Valley overlook. As Dan Friedman described the scene,
Ari Ben Canaan (Paul Newman) and Kitty
Fremont (Eva Marie Saint) drive up to a valley overlook. Sheb’s an
American volunteer, he’s a Jewish fighter and they are working together
to save Jewish refugees from internment camps. From this idyllic spot he
points out Mount Tabor where the biblical judge, Deborah, gathered her
force. He quotes the biblical passage and they kiss. It’s a taste of
paradise in the midst of a movie full of Holocaust survival and the
struggle for independence against the Brits.
Enjoy!
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Candid
Camera
was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series
created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as
The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947. After a series of theatrical
film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone,
Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued
into the 1970s. The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being
confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props,
such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car
with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would
be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."
Peter
Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host
with
his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS
television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which
he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show
full-time.
The
show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was
a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted
over 200 episodes.
In
this classic episode, people shopping at a sporting goods store and a pharmacy are offered ridiculous warranties on a baseball bat, underwear, and toothpaste.
Enjoy!
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Mariachi Yerushalaim is a band that provides a live Mexican experience and ambience to its audience.
By using the traditional instruments and dressing in the authentic
Mariachi attire, they put on a show that makes the audience feel as if
they were actually in Mexico.
Yojanan Peretz, the pioneer of the group, made Aliya in 2018. Inspired
by his former Hebrew professor Jacob Shekrel in Valencia, Spain he set
out to scout the music scene in Israel. After months of extensive
research, his heart was set on the Mexican genre.
In this interview with i24 TV, lead singer Yosef Daniel Villareal and the mariachi band sing and play Avadim Hayinu and Tequila near the walls of Jerusalem.
Enjoy!
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It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long
Island in Suffolk County.
After
a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus
to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some
of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you
today.
Here's
the setup: A young boy is pulling his wagon up a hill when one of the wheels falls off. The kid goes "I'll be damned." A pastor walking by sees and hears this. And then...
Enjoy!
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In 2008, a musical show titled 13 made its appearance on Broadway and lasted for 105 performances. It was about a 12 year old boy who grapples with his parents' divorce, moves to a small town in Indiana, prepares for his impending Bar Mitzvah, and navigates the complicated social circles of a new school. 13
is the only Broadway musical ever with a cast and band entirely made of
teenagers.
Now it's a movie coming to Netflix on August 12. As Lior Zaltzman wrote on Kveller:
The movie musical stars actor Eli Golden as Evan Goldman, a
12-year-old teen preparing for his bar mitzvah in New York City. “A bar
mitzvah is the event that defines you, the Jewish Superbowl,” Goldman
says in the trailer. Unfortunately, his plans for the epic bar mitzvah
are foiled by the dissolution of his parents’ marriage.
Instead of spending his days planning a tony Manhattan coming-of-age
party, Evan has to move with his mom, played by IRL Jewish mom Debra
Messing, to the small town of Walkerton, Indiana — a place that inspires
the song “The Lamest Place on Earth.”
Evan and his mom shack up with his Jewish grandma Ruth, played by the
wonderful Rhea Pearlman. “If it took a divorce to get you to come back,
maybe it’s a good thing,” Ruth tells her daughter, in true Jewish mom
fashion. “I look at the bright side,” she professes.
The very easy-on-the-eyes Peter Hermann of “Younger” plays Evan’s
dad, Joel, who stays behind in New York City with Evan’s very congenial
rabbi, Rabbi Shapiro, played by Jewish comedian and dad Josh Peck.
Peck makes for the perfect movie rabbi, and he is full of Jewish jokes
and zingers for his young student. In the trailer, after Evan attempts
to chant his Hebrew Torah portion, Rabbi Shapiro answers a pretend call
and tells the teen: “It’s God, he wants his language back.”
Here's the trailer for the movie. Enjoy!
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Tonight we welcome Shabbat once again. Every Friday we post a melody from the Kabbalat Shabbat service or one of the other songs that are sung on Friday night or Shabbat morning.
Mizmor Shir L'yom HaShabbat is a central psalm that is part of Kabbalat Shabbat. Here it is interpreted by Abraham Nickin accompanied by images of Jerusalem. This video was posted on YouTube by Cantor Ari Litvak of Comunidad Bet El de Mexico.
Enjoy and Shabbat Shalom!
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Back in 1972, 50 years ago, President Richard Nixon landed in China. The 1972 visit was an important strategic and diplomatic overture that marked the culmination of the Nixon administration's resumption of harmonious relations between the United States and mainland China after years of diplomatic isolation.
The seven-day official visit to three Chinese cities was the first time a U.S. president had visited China. Nixon's arrival in Beijing ended 25 years of no communication or diplomatic ties between the two
countries and was the key step in normalizing relations between the U.S.
and China.
The China visit gave an opportunity to the comedy team of Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara to perform a skit on The Carol Burnett Show. Stiller and Meara played the roles of Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai and his wife reviewing the trip and their impressions of the Nixons. Hilarious!
Enjoy!
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The Israeli Andalusian Orchestra – Ashdod performed two concerts in
Morocco at the end of March 2022 in collaboration with the Moroccan
Association of Andalusian Music.
This was the orchestra’s first
performance since the resumption of diplomatic relations between the
countries in December 2020.
The
first concert of the Orchestra was held at the Mohammed V National
Theater in Rabat, its capital. Many distinguished dignitaries were in
attendance, including the Israeli Deputy Head of Mission in Rabat, Eyal
David, the Secretary-General of the Moroccan Ministry of Culture, along
with many Moroccan VIPs and foreign diplomats. The orchestra played both
traditional Israeli and Moroccan songs. One particularly moving moment
occurred at the outset of the evening, with the playing of the Israeli
and Moroccan national anthems.
Here is an excerpt from the concert with the orchestra playing Hava Nagila. Enjoy!
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The Forvertsseries of
short informal video clips called Yiddish Word of the Day is still going strong.
The series,
written and narrated by Forverts editor Rukhl Schaechter, aims to give
non-Yiddish speakers an introduction to familiar Yiddish words and phrases and
how they might be used in everyday situations.
Schaechter, who was appointed the new editor of the Forverts in 2016, is
the first woman to helm the paper in its 119-year history, its first
editor to have been born in the United States, and likely its first editor
who is shomeret Shabbat.
We posted the
first
of this series in May 2020. Now that the Forverts is continuing the
series, we're sharing some of the words and phrases as a regular feature of
Jewish Humor Central.
Today we're exploring words and expressions that have to do with illness. There are many humorous expressions associated with this word and you'll never guess what "the Jewish illness" refers to!
Enjoy!
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It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.
Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory.
With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.
Mickey
also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's
the setup: Chaim Yankel was minding his own business, reading the paper. His wife Stella walked over and hit him in the head with her frying pan. And then...
Enjoy!
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Today we remember actor and comedian Larry Storch, who died on Friday at 99. Storch was best known for his comic television
roles, including voice-over work for cartoon shows such as Mr. Whoopee
on Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales, and his live-action role of the bumbling Corporal Randolph Agarn on F Troop.
Storch was born in New York City to Alfred Storch, a realtor, and his
wife, Sally Kupperman Storch, a telephone operator. His parents were
observant Jews. He attended DeWitt Clinton High School in the Bronx with Don Adams, who remained his lifelong friend.
Storch was originally a comic. This led to guest appearances on dozens of television series, including, Mannix, Car 54, Where Are You?; Hennesey; Get Smart; Sergeant Bilko; Columbo; CHiPs; Fantasy Island; McCloud; Emergency!; The Flying Nun; Alias Smith and Jones; The Alfred Hitchcock Hour; That Girl; I Dream of Jeannie; Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.; Gilligan's Island; The Doris Day Show; The Persuaders; Love, American Style; All in the Family; and Kolchak: The Night Stalker.
His most famous role was from 1965 to 1967 as the scheming Corporal Randolph Agarn on the situation comedy F Troop, with Forrest Tucker, Ken Berry, and Melody Patterson.
Here is a video clip of Storch in an episode of F Troop.
Enjoy!
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Beit
Tefilah Israeli (BTI) is a fast-growing community in Tel Aviv that is
renewing and revitalizing the notion of prayer. Services at BTI combine
live music, modern poetry and literature with the traditional prayer
book.
In recent years BTI became famous for its Summer Kabbalat Shabbat
service at the Tel Aviv port, which attracts up to 800 worshippers each
week. This phenomenon—attracting many secular Israelis who once felt
marginalized by the Jewish community—is now being replicated in
Jerusalem and throughout Israel.
Today
we welcome Shabbat with the BTI version of Lecha Dodi, a liturgical
poem from the Kabbalat Shabbat service, recorded last week in Tel Aviv.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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Sid Caesar's gift of
proficiency in speaking doubletalk in four languages was one of his
greatest assets. He used it successfuly throughout his career in his
many TV appearances on his own programs, Your Show of Shows and Caesar's Hour, as well as in guest appearances on other shows.
In this throwback episode from The Ernie Kovacs Show, Caesar plays the role of a stern Japanese father laying down the law to his two daughters who are getting ready for dates with American men.
While today the skit would be criticized as culturally insensitive, when it appeared on TV in 1980 it was just funny.
Enjoy!
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Candid
Camera
was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series
created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as
The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947. After a series of theatrical
film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone,
Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued
into the 1970s. The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being
confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props,
such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car
with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would
be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."
Peter
Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host
with
his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS
television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which
he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show
full-time.
The
show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was
a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted
over 200 episodes.
In this classic episode, people enter a movie theater and take what they think are good seats. The Candid Camera crew has other plans for them, sending one person after another to occupy seats that block their view.
Enjoy!
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We've been following Elon Gold and posting some of his shtick on Jewish Humor Central for the last 12 years.
Elon is an American comedian, television actor, writer and producer. He starred in
the television series Stacked. He also starred in the short-lived
sitcom In-Laws.
Known for his impressions, including those of Jeff
Goldblum, Howard Stern and Jay Leno, Gold was a judge on
the ABC celebrity impersonation competition series The Next Best Thing.
Gold was also in the movie Cheaper by the Dozen as a cameraman from the
Oprah Winfrey show.
Gold attended the Westchester Day School in Mamaroneck, NY
and the Marsha Stern Talmudical Academy (MTA)/Yeshiva University High School
for Boys in Manhattan, NY. He is a practicing orthodox Jew.
One of Elon's specialties is his attention to the idiosyncracies and peculiarities of languages. In this performance at the Comedy Cellar he explores the use of the term "non-Jew" and the ramifications of its extension to other situations.
Enjoy!
A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY
FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON
SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT
THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR
CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE
PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
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