Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long
Island in Suffolk County.
After
a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus
to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some
of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you
today.
Here's
the setup: This guy is concerned that his wife is losing her hearing. But she won't go for a test. So he goes to the family physician and says: "Look, Doc, my wife is losing her hearing." And then...
Enjoy!
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In
its latest effort to strengthen the
bond between Israel and American Jewry, the Ruderman Family Foundation
launched a 10-part original video series, “Jewish Foodie.”
The series aims to encourage Israelis to deepen their knowledge about
U.S. Jewish communities, and Jewish Americans to become better
acquainted with their rich and diverse heritage and culture, all
accomplished through a rich and fascinating culinary journey of Jewish
food across the U.S.
Hosted by the well-known Israeli actor
and comedian Ori Laizerouvich, “Jewish Foodie” takes viewers on a
journey of the broad diversity of American Jewry as a whole and its
communities in particular through the innovative vehicle of food.
Focusing on the personal stories and cultural influences associated with
Jewish food in four American regions, the series explores the
Northeast, with its bagels and lox, knishes, delis, hot dogs, Chinese
food and vegan fare; the Southeast, including barbecue, bourbon and
baked goods; the Southwest, featuring tacos, Jewish-style burgers with
latkes (“Jew Boy Burger”), huevos rancheros and rodeo food; and the
Midwest, with pastrami sandwiches, bison burgers and Canukah
gelt-making.
Viewers not only discover American Jewish communities’ food
stories, but also the broader character of the communities themselves
and their members, including communities whose Jewish presence may be
surprising.
Actor and comedian Laizerouvich is a familiar face to fans of the Chai Flicks streaming series Shababnikim (The New Black) where he plays the role of Gedaliah, a very religious and very serious Yeshiva student.
In
this seventh episode of the series, Laizerouvich, spends a day with Jewish cowboy and retired bull rider Jonathan Hochman. After eating a Tex-Mex version of shakshuka, they attend the Austin rodeo.
(A note to our readers:
While all of the food establishments visited by Laizerouvich specialize
in Jewish food, only a few of them have kosher certification. In this Austin video, none of the locations are certified kosher.)
Enjoy!
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This evening we welcome Shabbat with Oseh Shalom Bimromav,
a phrase that appears many times in the Shabbat services. It is sung by
the Zimriyah Choir of Congregation Beth Israel of San Diego. The words, in Hebrew, English, and in transliteration, appear at the bottom of the screen.
Congregation Beth Israel, the historic center of Jewish life in San
Diego, is an inclusive Reform congregation that offers a warm welcome
and a nurturing home to all who seek a meaningful and enduring
connection to Judaism.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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We've been big fans of Rita Rudner ever since she started to appear on late night TV in the 1980s. One
of the hallmarks of her comedy is that it's clean, free from the
vulgarity and shouting that many stand-up comics find necessary. Her
delivery is demure, tasteful, full of wry observations, and
very funny.
Rudner
started her career as a dancer, then switched to stand-up comedy about
her dating experiences. She married British producer Martin Bergman
about 30 years ago and they have a daughter. She is fond of Jewish
humor but generally reserves it for when she performs for Jewish
audiences. Rita
just released video clips of some recent performances. Today we're sharing her observations on being a mother.
Enjoy!
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Candid
Camera
was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series
created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as
The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947.
After a series of theatrical
film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone,
Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued
into the 1970s. The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being
confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props,
such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car
with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would
be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."
Peter
Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host
with
his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS
television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which
he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show
full-time.
The
show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was
a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted
over 200 episodes.
In
this classic episode the Candid Camera crew found an isolated car in a supermarket parking lot and boxed it in by parking cars next to it so close that the driver couldn't get in. Then the fun begins.
Enjoy!
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Modi Rosenfeld is one of our favorite young comedians and we've posted many of his stand-up comedy routines and skits.
Born in Tel Aviv, Israel, Modi Rosenfeld moved to New
York City with his family when he was 7. Before entering comedy, he was a
Wall Street international banker. He now goes solely by the name Modi
and is known for creating accents and characters.
He
has made many appearances at the Just for Laughs festival, an annual
summer
event in Montreal and at comedy clubs around the world. In this video at the Funny Bone comedy club in Columbus, Ohio., Modi rants about the ways Ashkenazi Jews name their babies. Modi
has a wide range of funny persona. Sometimes he appears as a Chasid in
full black dress, other times as a typical Jewish stand-up comic, and
others as a non-denominational general comedian. This video shows him
without any ethnic attributes. Any way we look at it, we think he's
funny.
Enjoy!
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It's
another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today
Mickey Greenblatt is back with another oldie but goodie.
Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory.
With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.
Mickey
also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's
the setup: Moshe Goldberg retired and moved with his wife to Florida. On their first day they're walking along the beach in Miami and Mrs. Goldberg strikes up a conversation with another couple. And then...
Enjoy!
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Fiddler on the Roof in Yiddish is returning by popular
demand for seven weeks only in an Off-Broadway limited engagement at New
World Stages, directed by Academy Award and Tony Award winner Joel Grey
and starring Steven Skybell as Tevye.
If you haven't seen the Yiddish version, produced by the National Yiddish Theatre Folksbiene, here's a chance to experience the richness of a production that will have English and Russian supertitles. It will be playing from November 13 to January 1 at the New World Stages at 340 West 50th Street in Manhattan. The video (below) of the cast rehearsing the opening song Traditsye (Tradition) will give you a taste of this show.
Don’t
miss the beloved story of a community and its struggle to balance
traditions and desires in a changing world. The little town of Anatevka
will bustle with the sounds of mame-loshn in this Yiddish language
adaptation.
The production has been hailed as “a richer, deeper interpretation” by The Wall Street Journal, “a mitzvah” by Time Out New York, and AM New York gives it four stars, calling Fiddler on the Roof in Yiddish “perfect.”
Enjoy!
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Adath Israel Congregation was founded in 1847, as the Polish Synagogue
in Cincinnati. It was the oldest traditional synagogue in Cincinnati,
Ohio, and one of the oldest Conservative congregations in the entire nation.
Last month the congregation made a joyful return to the synagogue's sanctuary. Happy to be back together again, Shayna Kling and Mitch Cohen sang Adon Olam to the tune of Happy Together, the 1967 hit song by the Turtles.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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For some of our younger readers who may not know who Tom Lehrer is, he's a 94-year-old retired American singer-songwriter, satirist, pianist, and mathematician. He
has lectured on mathematics and musical theater. He is best known for the
pithy, humorous songs he recorded in the 1950s and '60s. His work often
parodies popular song forms, though he usually creates original melodies when
doing so.
Lehrer's early musical work typically dealt with non-topical subject matter and was noted for its black humor in songs such as "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park". In the 1960s, he produced a number of songs that dealt with social and
political issues of the day, particularly when he wrote for the U.S.
version of the television show That Was the Week That Was.
The popularity of these songs has far outlasted their topical subjects
and references. Lehrer quoted a friend's explanation: "Always predict
the worst and you'll be hailed as a prophet."
In the early 1970s, Lehrer largely retired from public performances to
devote his time to teaching mathematics and musical theater history at
the University of California, Santa Cruz.
The clever lyrics in this song are based on the United States Fish and Wildlife Service program to to control pigeon populations in Boston public areas during the 1950s by feeding them cyanide-coated peanuts and strychnine-treated corn.
Enjoy!
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Candid
Camera
was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series
created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as
The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947.
After a series of theatrical
film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone,
Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued
into the 1970s. The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being
confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props,
such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car
with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would
be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."
Peter
Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host
with
his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS
television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which
he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show
full-time.
The
show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was
a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted
over 200 episodes.
In
this classic episode a dog owner takes a pet to an animal hospital for a needed shot. The vet explains that he will give the owner a shot to lower the dog's anxiety. How will the owners react to this procedure?
Enjoy!
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In
its latest effort to strengthen the
bond between Israel and American Jewry, the Ruderman Family Foundation
launched a 10-part original video series, “Jewish Foodie.”
The series aims to encourage Israelis to deepen their knowledge about
U.S. Jewish communities, and Jewish Americans to become better
acquainted with their rich and diverse heritage and culture, all
accomplished through a rich and fascinating culinary journey of Jewish
food across the U.S.
Hosted by the well-known Israeli actor
and comedian Ori Laizerouvich, “Jewish Foodie” takes viewers on a
journey of the broad diversity of American Jewry as a whole and its
communities in particular through the innovative vehicle of food.
Focusing on the personal stories and cultural influences associated with
Jewish food in four American regions, the series explores the
Northeast, with its bagels and lox, knishes, delis, hot dogs, Chinese
food and vegan fare; the Southeast, including barbecue, bourbon and
baked goods; the Southwest, featuring tacos, Jewish-style burgers with
latkes (“Jew Boy Burger”), huevos rancheros and rodeo food; and the
Midwest, with pastrami sandwiches, bison burgers and Canukah
gelt-making.
Viewers not only discover American Jewish communities’ food
stories, but also the broader character of the communities themselves
and their members, including communities whose Jewish presence may be
surprising.
Actor and comedian Laizerouvich is a familiar face to fans of the Chai Flicks streaming series Shababnikim (The New Black) where he plays the role of Gedaliah, a very religious and very serious Yeshiva student.
In
this sixth episode of the series, Laizerouvich visits Millie Baron's Ambrosia Bakery and attends a Friday night dinner at the Baron home in Hot Springs.
(A note to our readers:
While all of the food establishments visited by Laizerouvich specialize
in Jewish food, only a few of them have kosher certification. We couldn't find such certification for the Hot Springs bakery.)
Tonight, Monday, and Tuesday we'll be observing Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. We'll be back with our usual mix on Wednesday.
Enjoy, and Chag Sameach!
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Today we're welcoming Shabbat with Ana Bekoach, a beautiful kabbalist song from the regular Kabbalat Shabbat service, sung by Israeli singer/songwriter Erez Ariel.
Known
as the 42-letter Name of God, Ana Bekoach is a unique formula
built of 42 letters written in seven sentences of six words each. Each
of the seven sentences correspond to the seven days of the week, seven
specific angels, and to a particular heavenly body. The letters that
make up Ana Bekoach are encoded within the first 42 letters of the book of Genesis.
The
kabbalists explain that this combination of letters takes us back to
the time of Creation, and each time we meditate on a particular
sequence, we return to the original uncorrupted energy that built the
world. By performing the Ana Bekoach meditation, we enrich our lives with unadulterated spiritual Light and positive energy.
The Hebrew text and English translation appear below the video.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
ANA B'CHO'ACH
We, we beg Hashem with the strength and greatness of thy right arm, untangle our knotted fate.
Accept your people's song, elevate, elevate and purify us
We beg Hashem with the strength and greatness of thy right arm, untangle our knotted fate.
Accept your people's song, elevate and purify us
Please, heroic one, those who pursue your uniqueness guard them as the pupil of an eye.
Bless them, purify them, pity them
May your righteousness always reward them. Powerful and Holy One
Powerful and Holy One, in goodness lead your flock.
Unique and proud one, to your people turn, who remember your holiness.
Accept our cries, and hear our screams, oh knower of mysteries. (Blessed is the name of his noble kingdom forever and ever.)
In Israel, the priestly blessing takes
place daily in every synagogue across the country. But twice a year,
once during Passover and once during Sukkot, a mass priestly blessing is
held at the Western Wall.
This gathering of tens of thousands
became tradition following its initiation by Rabbi Menachem Mendel
Gafner during the War of Attrition. He thought of the impact and power
the priestly blessing holds, even following the destruction of the
temples, and decided to offer both kohanim and others to partake in this
meaningful experience en masse during a period that was very difficult
in the State of Israel.
Birkat Kohanim at the Kotel is something
very worth attending at least once. Provided you aren’t bothered by
very large crowds, join the tens of thousands of people who attend this
event annually and receive the historic blessing from hundreds of Jews
of priestly lineage as they face the congregation, hands stretched
forward, chanting in one voice.
This was the scene yesterday morning at the Kotel as Jerusalem residents and visitors came together to receive the blessing of the Kohanim on the third day of Sukkot, the first day of Chol Hamoed.
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If you liked the music of Fiddler on the Roof, you're going to like this.
On June 25, 2020, four actor/singers who played the role of Tevye got together at a virtual dinner for Chai Cancer Care in Manchester, England. They joined in singing To Life - L'Chayim with lots of energy and joy.
Chaim Topol - Broadway, Original West End, Film (1967-1994)
Dudu Fisher - Various Productions
Andy Nyman - West End (2018-2019)
Yehezkel Lazarov -Broadway National Tour (2018)
Enjoy!
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In
its latest effort to strengthen the
bond between Israel and American Jewry, the Ruderman Family Foundation
launched a 10-part original video series, “Jewish Foodie.”
The series aims to encourage Israelis to deepen their knowledge about
U.S. Jewish communities, and Jewish Americans to become better
acquainted with their rich and diverse heritage and culture, all
accomplished through a rich and fascinating culinary journey of Jewish
food across the U.S.
Hosted by the well-known Israeli actor
and comedian Ori Laizerouvich, “Jewish Foodie” takes viewers on a
journey of the broad diversity of American Jewry as a whole and its
communities in particular through the innovative vehicle of food.
Focusing on the personal stories and cultural influences associated with
Jewish food in four American regions, the series explores the
Northeast, with its bagels and lox, knishes, delis, hot dogs, Chinese
food and vegan fare; the Southeast, including barbecue, bourbon and
baked goods; the Southwest, featuring tacos, Jewish-style burgers with
latkes (“Jew Boy Burger”), huevos rancheros and rodeo food; and the
Midwest, with pastrami sandwiches, bison burgers and Canukah
gelt-making.
Viewers not only discover American Jewish communities’ food
stories, but also the broader character of the communities themselves
and their members, including communities whose Jewish presence may be
surprising.
Actor and comedian Laizerouvich is a familiar face to fans of the Chai Flicks streaming series Shababnikim (The New Black) where he plays the role of Gedaliah, a very religious and very serious Yeshiva student.
In
this fifth episode of the series, Laizerouvich, still in Memphis, passes by Elvis Presley's mansion (Graceland) and visits a kosher home specializing in brisket where he encounters a kippah wearing "Jewish Elvis" and ends the day in a bourbon distillery.
(A note to our readers:
While all of the food establishments visited by Laizerouvich specialize
in Jewish food, only a few of them have kosher certification. In this Memphis video, Ori visits a kosher home and a distillery.)
The Sukkot holiday starts tonight. We will be observing it on Monday and Tuesday. We'll be back with our usual mix on Wednesday.
Enjoy, and Chag Sameach!
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Today we welcome Shabbat with Yismechu, from the Shabbat afternoon service, sung by Rabbi/Cantor Didi Thomas. A
California native, child of an interfaith family, and former
professional actress and singer, Rabbi/Cantor Didi draws on her eclectic
life experiences to bring a unique presence and musicality to all of
her services.
Known for her warm embracing style, she inspires
participants toward a greater sense of unity and connection regardless
of their faith or level of observance. Her services uplift the soul and
make the heart soar; they are spiritual, multi-dimensional, and
universally appealing. Rabbi Thomas is devoted to creating inclusivity
and spirituality in all aspects of her rabbinate.
She
is the founding Rabbi for Temple Emet of Torrance, which is a highly
participatory community dedicated to creating a sense of family amongst
congregants, enhanced worship and learning experiences, as well as a
greater connection with the Divine.
She has served as Cantor for Temple Menorah in Redondo Beach, and
as Educator, Music Specialist, or Cantorial Soloist for several large
Los Angeles and Texas congregations including Temple Isaiah, Temple
Israel of Hollywood, Wilshire Boulevard, Temple Aliyah, Kadima Hebrew
Academy, and Temple Emanu-El of Dallas.
Her daughter, Alissa Thomas-Newborn, ordained at Rabbi Avi Weiss' Yeshiva Maharat in Riverdale, New York, is an American Orthodox Jewish spiritual leader who became the first Orthodox female clergy member to preside in the Los Angeles, California areawhen she assumed her post as a spiritual leader at B’nai David-Judea
Congregation (BDJ) in August 2015. The announcement of her appointment
came on May 2, 2015 from the pulpit by the lead clergyman of the synagogue, Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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The latest TikTok viral sensation is a group of choir boys singing Yerushalayim, a song that was recorded 14 years ago. The group, the Miami Boys Choir, was founded in 1977 in Miami by Yerachmiel Begun, an Orthodox composer and musical director. It moved to New York City in 1980 but kept the Miami name.
The Begun family also comes from a legacy of musicians and
performers, including MBC composer Yerachmiel Begun’s father, the former
vaudeville actor Chaim Begun. Yerachmiel Begun’s wife Shoshana, a
classical pianist, wrote many of the group’s English songs, such as
“Sunshine” from the 1995 album, “One by One.”
Now, the Miami Boys Choir, which Yerachmiel Begun still leads, albeit
with a totally new cohort of boys than the video, will be returning to
the stage with their annual Sukkot tour of the tri-state area. (Dates
and locations for the tour have not been set yet, but the group’s
website shows that it held auditions last spring in two places: Miami
and Lakewood, New Jersey, which has a large Orthodox community.)
When he first started posting the videos two months ago, engagement
was moderate. But six weeks ago, the “Yerushalayim” video started
blowing up. Since then, web traffic has increased, people have been
buying albums and subscriptions to MBC’s music, and Spotify listens have
tripled, Chananya Begun said. Even TV studios and documentary producers
have been reaching out to the Beguns.
“We’ve seen incredible reactions and it’s been absolutely wild to watch,” Begun said. “Absolutely crazy.”
Beyond MBC’s popularity with the Orthodox Jewish world, Begun has
been impressed by the group resonating with non-Jews and people who
haven’t identified much with Judaism in recent years. Tweets and
comments left on their videos often refer to people not understanding a
word of the music but listening to the songs on repeat.
The YouTube version of the full Yerushalayim song,
which was uploaded Sept. 11, well into the frenzy, has more than 1 million views.
“I’m not Jewish but I’ve listened to this so many times I’ve memorized
the words,” one user commented. Another wrote, “I would give away my
first born child to go back in time to watch this concert live.”
Enjoy!
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Tonight,
Jews all over the world will congregate toward sunset to mark the
start of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The most universally
recognized part of the Yom Kippur liturgy is the chanting of Kol
Nidrei, a medieval annulment of vows set to a melody composed as Opus
47 for cello and orchestra by a German Protestant named Max Bruch in
1881.
Kol Nidrei has been sung by a long list
of artists, Jewish and non-Jewish, in recording studios, on stage and
on movie screens. These singers included Yossele Rosenblatt, Richard
Tucker, Perry Como, Johnny Mathis, Al Jolson, Neil Diamond, and Jerry
Lewis. Jolson, Diamond, and Lewis all sang the song as part of their
portrayal of a cantor's son in The Jazz Singer, through three versions of the film.
Today we're sharing a version sung last year by Azi Schwartz, the cantor of the Park Avenue Synagogue in New York City.
Wishing you an easy and meaningful fast, whether you'll be in shul, Zooming, or live streaming. We'll be back on Thursday with our usual mix.
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PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE
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Yes,
we know it's another Monday, and that usually means it's time for
another Joke to Start the Week. But we're in the midst of a month of
Jewish holidays that started with Rosh Hashanah and continues with Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. So
we're holding off with the weekly jokes until the Monday after the
holidays, and instead bringing you content that's more appropriate for
this month.
Today we're posting a version of the Prayer for the Soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces (Mi Sheberach l'Tzahal) as sung by Cantor Chaim Stern with the Great Synagogue Choir in Sydney, Australia. (English translation below)
Tomorrow: Kol Nidrei
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EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK
ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE,
FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
Prayer for Members of the Israel Defense Force
He Who blessed our forefathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob
- may He bless the fighters of the Israel Defense Force,
who stand guard over our land and the cities of our God from
the border of the Lebanon to the desert of Egypt, and from
the Great Sea unto the approach of the Aravah, on the land,
in the air, and on the sea.
May Hashem cause the enemies who rise up against us to be
struck down before them. May the Holy One, Blessed is He,
preserve and rescue our fighting men from every trouble and
distress and from every plague and illness, and may He send
blessing and success in their every endeavor.
May He lead our enemies under their sway and may He grant
them salvation and crown them with victory. And may there be
fulfilled for them the verse:
For it is Hashem, your God, Who goes with you to battle your
enemies for you to save you.
The Yiddish folk love song Tumbalalaika
originated in Eastern Europe in the 19th century, but its exact origin
is hard to pinpoint. That hasn't prevented it from being sung and played
over and over, not only in places where Yiddish songs are sung, but
just about everywhere in the world, in vocal and instrumental versions,
in cabarets and in the movies.
Just as we have followed the songs Hava Nagila, Adon Olam, Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, and Abanibi
as they took different forms as interpreted by a wide variety of
singers, musicians, and dancers, we're continuing the series today that
we started back in 2012, bringing you many interpretations of this
universal courting and love
song.
This rendition of Tumbalalaika was recorded by Roulottes Barriolées, a Klezmer Balkan Gypsy Orchestra. The English translation appears under the video on this page. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE
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JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU
CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE
TO START THE VIDEO.
Tumbalalaika - English Translation
A young lad stands, and he thinks
Thinks and thinks the whole night through
Whom to take and not to shame
Whom to take and not to shame Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbalalaika, strum balalaika
Tumbalalaika, may we be happy Girl, girl, I want to ask of you
What can grow, grow without rain?
What can burn and never end?
What can yearn, cry without tears? Foolish lad, why do you have to ask?
A stone can grow, grow without rain
Love can burn and never end
A heart can yearn, cry without tears
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Israel’s Tenth Trial
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
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